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A guide to Dirk.
Offline 02-01-2013, 01:08 PM (This reply was last modified: 02-02-2013 07:14 AM by golgothasTerror.)(Edited by golgothasTerror.)
Reply: #1
A guide to Dirk.
So, for reasons of convolution beyond the perimeters that they should reasonably be allowed to fall under, I've decided upon crafting my guides in the parlance of those who they refer to. Mostly because coming across properly is the biggest factor besides. Well. Knowing your shit in general. It will be like the character is reaching out in a fit of defiance, emitting gregorian chants of a very specific nature. "No, dear roleplayer, put the cat ears down".

So, where do we start with Dirk.
For one, he's a pretty cool dude.
A practitioner in the church of bros.
An ironicist of the highest degree.
He has written a peer reviewed paper on this subject.
His irony has expanded so far that his entire existence has succumbed to a major case of galactic irony.

Aka, He fell for another male from a different time period who could not possibly reciprocate feelings at the level he did, and his affection for this male caused the destruction of the relationship when it inevitably occurred.

His perception of this male was, of course, skewed by the fact that he was the only feasible companion within reason. He might have been kawaii, but did dirk really have to die? Shit's wack.
Speaking of wack, predicating the rap vernacular is a course of action I should take now.

Now, if I wanted to speak in a manner that isn't totally fucking stupid, but I wanted to keep a level playing field with those I interact with, and on top of that present the fact that I'm indeed, not one of my creations, how would I do that? The answer is drop some hard motherfucking offsets to that shit. Or, you know, add in some winky emotes. I'm not doing emotes. I'm just gonna be rad.
Aint nothin' wrong with being rad.

So he does. He levels himself out from time to time. Lets you get the gist of things. Shit's cool.

But he's still human dammit!
Sometimes, shit isn't cool!
Sometimes, he gets upset too, and when he does it always sounds really unfitting!
Because these are the things he doesn't say!
And he doesn't say a hell of a lot!

Which is to say, if the irony mark introduced by Hervé Bazin in "Let's pluck the bird" actually gained practical functionality, you would be seeing it many, many times. Just because Dirk's a genius doesn't mean that he's always serious. Or always right.
Remember this lovely fucking moment?
I can't believe how right he was.
"GT: And another who is a computer program you made hahahahahahaha.
TT: That's a super joke.
TT: But I'm guessing you won't be hearing much from the program. "
Wow, entirely serious dude right here.
"GT: I shoulda asked where he fit into the picture if you were raised alone. I can be dumb as a bag of penny candy sometimes.
TT: Sometimes.
TT: Other times you're on point, like a bag of the nickel shit"
I can't even handle how robotic he seems! 2 Spooky.
And you're probably sitting there like "Wow, this is jumping around a lot". Because he does jump around a lot. He has a lot of thoughts. He needs to share some of them. And if he lingers too long on one imperceptible fleeting entity, how ever will he jump to the next twenty within a short period of time. It would be, quite plainly, fucking impossible. To get a better understanding of this, you could isolate and rig yourself to a computer for roughly nine hours straight a day until your vision starts displaying a layer of static, you gain a permanent headache and your thoughts start overlapping day in and day out in a never ending tangent of awful. And then repeat that for ten years.
Or.
You can take my word for it.
Yeah.

So back to the romantic crap. If you want to write this kids dokis correctly, you gotta know the origin and fall of them past butts. He does enjoy them. But that's not all there is. For one, Jake's interesting. He's interesting and despite him not entirely being there sometimes, he knows a hell of a lot more then people know he knows. You know?
And he's similar. Left alone in the middle of nowhere. Only a man and his presumptuous pile of pop-cultural derision and the sound of his own sexual deprivation echoing from the walls, left alone to fester in his borderline depression. (For more evidence of sexual deprivation and lonely males, see beauties, dirks bed, what dirk's bed is covered with, how dirk preoccupies his time, dirks tv, and Sawtooth's lovely armor design.) But that's not all! Obscurity loves acceptance. And that English is hella accepting. So accepting that you just kind of want to tell him how great he is. Make sure he knows. Make sure he survives the batterwitch rebellion you grew up in by sending him a replicate of your handsome self to spar with. You want to take care of him and make sure he's happy. Tuck him in at night and listen to his breathing beside you. Invite him to the roof to look at the stars with you. Then you want to discuss every single star and their objective meanings because he is bound to reciprocate interest in such a subject because how could you possibly not. Along with how you actually formulated your glasses and why they still exist. But what is existence? Are we existing? Do we really have control over anything? Can we really say definitively that we're not some assholes toys? Haha, this is coming really close to doxastic voluntarism, actually. You know what's also great? That one meme from Pani Poni Dash. Or the theme from Ghost sweeper. Or the works of Mc Frontalot. And-

Just like that your objective boytoy has skedaddled.
This would be why their relationship crumbled harder then the damn no one gives. Or some gave too hard.
Both are imperfect at communication, not just Jake. When someone has a shit ton of things to say, he's gonna want to say it. You feel me?

And boy does he. He's not only into rap and puppets. He loves philosophy which may lead to the meaning to his desolate existence. He loves history from the history that stopped. He loves pop-culture from the culture he never had. He loves.
His text has this emanating "cold heat" to it, in which he'll say one thing that kind of. Let's you know he cares.
He cares a lot, actually.
He really does.
But of course, caring explicitly would be. Uncool.

Which.
Wait a minute.
Is this kid cool?
He looks like a protoman rip off.
Was that a batman belt?
Holy shit, did he just say "Le sigh".
This kid doesn't seem cool at all in the lateral way.
Which is the irony behind the Striders two, whatever is the fandom to do.
Both are cool in ways unorthodox. Can't keep this shit on wraps for long enough.
A constant bluff.
Only two kids have figured it out,
Jake and John,
for that, there's no doubt.

Now that we have a run through of this guy in place, how do we tell him from him? You know. Himself from himself. He from he. The he that is 3. If you added ten and hell.
His auto responder. Lil Hal.
He considers him to be him, because why wouldn't he? Sure he's in a piece of glass. And hey, he's a little bitch. But.
He's him.
Perhaps the differentiation between them can be best explained using mutliverse theory. Let's say Lil Hal is another variant of Dirk, living in another universe. Bro too. Bro still has similar interests and his mentality is likely to be proportionate to what dirks was relative to his society. But he's likely to take different actions because of what surrounds him which leads to a differentiation in the end result of his character. Lil Hal is the variant of him, who was stuck in a box. Lil Hal, is the variant of him, who was denied direct friendship, denied an individualized existence, and denied limbs. He is trapped. And what do you do when you're trapped? You bust your ass out. You mess around with things to salvage entertainment. You lose uncertainty because let's face it, why have any when you're never uncertain. And come on, no one likes a stiff.
So basically, if you ever meet a sadistic bitch of a dirk, it's likely to be the responder.

Fucking peace, yo.
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Offline 02-02-2013, 11:34 AM (This reply was last modified: 02-09-2013 03:09 AM by golgothasTerror.)(Edited by golgothasTerror.)
Reply: #2
RE: A guide to Dirk.
Quick facts/common misconceptions about Dirk:
  • Dirk is not omnipotent nor omniscient. He is intelligent but it's in relation to his peers and not to his time period. This has been pointed out by Dirk himself in what I would like to call the "English, get a clue" log set. In his time period, it's hard to say exactly where he would stand mentally in relationship to everyone else, had the everyone else been still existent.
  • Dirk has been wrong. Dirk thought that Dave acquired his glasses from Ben Stiller. Dirk thought the ar would never be a successful project. Dirk assumed Jake to be higher intellectually than he was in actuality. (It's worth noting that Jake actually isn't that dumb at all but more on that in another guide.)
  • Dirk's hair is the only reason he's not wearing a hat. He has a hat remorse pile.
  • Dirk and his AR take upon traits that are mentioned of triangles in Timaeus. Actually, a vast majority of the Timaeus covers the subject of triangles and Dirk's glasses were originally sculpted as a call back to that. Then the anime fans came in and made a note of Kamina's sweet shades. Then the references were mixed into one hella awesome slurry of potential character detail work.
  • Dirk in Chinese is "德克" (de ke) which is the same character for Texas. This was either intentional or a very happy accident.
  • Dirk's infatuation with both rap and robotics is reminiscent to Tauhid Bondia/Andrew Hussie's short comic "And it dont stop". At some point I believe it was directly referenced while we were still learning about his modus, along with the fact that page two from the comic is used as Dave's phone background. And Bro happens to look just like a character from "And it dont stop", which I'm unable to abbreviate for fluency reasons because of the fact that it abbreviates to AIDS.
  • Can't believe I didn't add this here earlier, but it's worth noting that Snoop dog's character name in Starsky and Hutch is Huggy bear. Dear, sweet, Huggy Bear. The Snoop bust outside of Dirk's room was originally shown in Problem sleuth, along with many other SAH things.
  • There is actually a website out their named Dark Strider puppetry, and it specializes in. Weird shit.
  • The original proposition to have the strange puppet posters in the Strider household originated from a Saw based post on the mspa forums. They were contemplating just banning the kid, but they ended up rolling with his "insert questionable photos of baby muppets into canon" idea. Hussie also enjoyed puppets as a child.
  • Dirk is a nerd.
  • Dirk is a nerd.
  • Dork is a nerd.
  • One of these statements is incorrect, are you gusty enough a gumshoe to spot it?
  • The answer was statement number two because it obviously implied that a short dagger could possibly be socially evaluated.
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Offline 02-04-2013, 07:25 PM
Reply: #3
RE: A guide to Dirk.
Thank you. ♥
This makes a lot of sense actually. I never really considered it, but he really has a fast track mind. It's like with each singular thought comes a 1000 word essay ready at command on it.
I think a good term for Dirk is hyper-aware. He's very aware of most things, of his surroundings and of himself, but it's to the point that he sees the big picture but misses the tiny details.

Like the fact that by him not bringing up Janes interest in Jake prior--or explaining their "possible relations" to each other to Jake earlier on, would initially have saved certain *snerk*heart breaks, as well as a lot of effort and tears. And by not having talking about it earlier, assuming it wouldn't have came back later anyway to bite him in the ass.

Another little "blindspot" on Dirk's half, was the idea of making a super AI in the first place. He knows himself, he knows himself a lot. So why wouldn't he expect an essentially perfect being to not manipulate himself?
Because Dirk is very manipulative, you could say he's a puppet-ringer, being so, he tends to think in terms of a game. Work around the rules and mold it how he sees fit. So imagine giving that mentality to a computer Dirk?
He dun goofed.
And the best part is? Where Dirk has morals, Hal as cold beating pulsing overture of numbers.

♥ Sylph of Heart ♥
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Offline 02-05-2013, 12:36 AM
Reply: #4
RE: A guide to Dirk.
(02-01-2013 01:08 PM)golgothasTerror Wrote:  He loves philosophy which may lead to the meaning to his desolate existence. He loves history from the history that stopped. He loves pop-culture from the culture he never had. He loves.

"he loves" is one of the best dirk-related quotes ive ever seen
everybody assumes hes heartless and selfish for some reason?? but dang this is a great mini guide to dirk

i am john dad sollux tricksters casey kidd(oc)
johndave/nepaya
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Offline 02-05-2013, 09:38 AM (This reply was last modified: 02-09-2013 03:24 AM by golgothasTerror.)(Edited by golgothasTerror.)
Reply: #5
RE: A guide to Dirk.
(02-04-2013 07:25 PM)John Wrote:  Thank you. ♥
This makes a lot of sense actually. I never really considered it, but he really has a fast track mind. It's like with each singular thought comes a 1000 word essay ready at command on it.
I think a good term for Dirk is hyper-aware. He's very aware of most things, of his surroundings and of himself, but it's to the point that he sees the big picture but misses the tiny details.

Like the fact that by him not bringing up Janes interest in Jake prior--or explaining their "possible relations" to each other to Jake earlier on, would initially have saved certain *snerk*heart breaks, as well as a lot of effort and tears. And by not having talking about it earlier, assuming it wouldn't have came back later anyway to bite him in the ass.

Another little "blindspot" on Dirk's half, was the idea of making a super AI in the first place. He knows himself, he knows himself a lot. So why wouldn't he expect an essentially perfect being to not manipulate himself?
Because Dirk is very manipulative, you could say he's a puppet-ringer, being so, he tends to think in terms of a game. Work around the rules and mold it how he sees fit. So imagine giving that mentality to a computer Dirk?
He dun goofed.
And the best part is? Where Dirk has morals, Hal as cold beating pulsing overture of numbers.

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
rash thank you thank you for the compliment
and john ily for this
because now i can bring these lovely questions up
mwah
everyone let's all place on our thinking caps and get philosophical up in here
[ben nye voice]

CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING:


~*DOES THE AR TRULY LACK MORALS
~*WAS THE PROBLEM THAT DIRK DIDN'T CONSIDER THE FULL SPECTRUM OF HIM AS AN AR OR THAT HE DID CONSIDER THE FULL SPECTRUM OF HIM AS AN AR
~*IS DIRK ESSENTIALLY PERFECT
~*WHAT IS PERFECTION AND UNDER WHAT CONDITIONAL IS PERFECTION ALLOWED TO EXIST
~* ON A SCALE OF LAURA TO STELLA HOW DOKI IS DIRK

Attempted answers to these things:
x1(list)
x1
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Offline 02-05-2013, 10:36 AM
Reply: #6
RE: A guide to Dirk.
Arghhhh, so many questions that have some rather ambiguous quasi-answers!

When does a machine stop being a machine and begin to become something more? Was that heart wrenching admission that Lil' Hal that he didn't want to die his actual electronic feelings, or simply him knowing that Dirk would not be able to resist the plea any more then the rest of us? Is the fact that he picked such a horrifying name for himself a forgivable act? Can I learn to get past my years of growing up watching the Matrix and the Terminator series to stop being so paranoid? Will I ever learn to stop answering questions with more questions? The world may never know.
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Offline 02-05-2013, 11:03 AM (This reply was last modified: 02-05-2013 11:04 AM by golgothasTerror.)(Edited by golgothasTerror.)
Reply: #7
RE: A guide to Dirk.
(02-05-2013 10:36 AM)selfIndulgence Wrote:  Arghhhh, so many questions that have some rather ambiguous quasi-answers!

When does a machine stop being a machine and begin to become something more? Was that heart wrenching admission that Lil' Hal that he didn't want to die his actual electronic feelings, or simply him knowing that Dirk would not be able to resist the plea any more then the rest of us? Is the fact that he picked such a horrifying name for himself a forgivable act? Can I learn to get past my years of growing up watching the Matrix and the Terminator series to stop being so paranoid? Will I ever learn to stop answering questions with more questions? The world may never know.
Oh, fiddlesticks. This is vexing! When in doubt, Um. Hmm.
Bust out the Socratic irony!!!
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Offline 02-07-2013, 06:55 AM
Reply: #8
RE: A guide to Dirk.
i dont know why but im crying
possibly because this is the best guide to being dirk i have ever seen
possibly because dirk is adorable
idk why this just made me cry its gr8 props to u for making this uvu
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Offline 02-09-2013, 02:55 AM
Reply: #9
RE: A guide to Dirk.
(02-07-2013 06:55 AM)gelogenicTregetour Wrote:  i dont know why but im crying
possibly because this is the best guide to being dirk i have ever seen
possibly because dirk is adorable
idk why this just made me cry its gr8 props to u for making this uvu

*paps with tissues*
you little sweetheart
Thank you for reading it!
I'm just sorry about the tears.
You can add them to the river of update tears that the Homestuck fandom has been making in order to sail their boats.
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Offline 02-09-2013, 06:17 AM
Reply: #10
RE: A guide to Dirk.
oh no problem i actually think i might be able to take a shot at rping as dirk now that i know how he thinks kinda
pff idk am i the only one who was hardly affected by the update
i keep laughing at everyone elses reactions for some reason
like
im that one person in the corner who barely gives a shit
now that same scenario with the beta kids? id be sobbing
so yeah i guess i just dont like the alpha kids as much or something hm
anyway i will shut up before this gets off topic
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