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SBURB Bug Help Desk
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Offline 06-04-2017, 11:38 AM (This reply was last modified: 06-06-2017 11:55 PM by recursiveSlacker.)(Edited by recursiveSlacker.)
Reply: #1
Bug SBURB Bug Help Desk
--recursiveSlacker [RS] opened new memo "If You Can Read This, Shit's Broke"--


RS: Well, if you can read this, that means something is broken with your session. If you're not sure about that, just wait a bit.

RS: Trust me, your session is buggier than the Everglades in June. They all are. Every last session has some kind of glitch, because, come on, SBURB is a pile of glitches that merely resembles a game from the right angle.

RS: So, the way this works is, you post a detailed description of the glitch or bug, and I'll tell you what probably happened and how you can fix it if you're one of the lucky bastards that has a fixable bug.

RS: Oh, and I have a bunch of bullshit tags you can post with your bug reports too, relating to the exact taste, texture, and mouthfeel of your bug's specific flavor of fucked up.

(Dream Moons: Sleep's Broke Plz Fix)

(Your Denizen and You: Why Is The Boss All Weird)

(Oh My Fucking Godtier Mechanics)

(Gigglesnort Hideytalk: Sprites)

(Royalty and Loyalty: Politics)

(The Ring Thing: Prototyping)

(Git Gud Scrub: Dying)

(Flashy Green Shit: First Guardians)

(To Those About To Be Hit By A Giant Rock, We Salute You: Medium Entry)

(Fakey Fake Magic: Game Abilities)

(Land Of Bullshit and Planet Generation Oddities)

(Dungeons and 404 MYTHICAL CREATURE NOT FOUND)

(Dialogue Spewers and Dungeon Fodder: NPCs)

(But Thou Must: Stupid Quests)

(Ribbiting Universe: Frogs)

(Ninety Dimensional Chess: Skaia)

RS: Bugs are gonna be ranked by how extreme and widespread their influence is. Even a highly lethal overpowered boss is only one session's problem, and isn't something ridiculous like the session having, say, two battlefields.

RS: Losing is also not a bug, and neither are half of the weird things you see. Which weird things are bugs and which are game mechanics? It's hard to tell.

RS: Fuck this bullshit game.


(Minor) Consorts repeating themselves, invisible walls, graphical bugs.

(Moderate)
Bugged enemies, incorrect stats, minor land bugs, Unwinnable By Mistake

(Severe)
Severe land generation errors, moderate player corruption, player duplication (non-Time, Hope, Mist, Heart related), crowned carapacians, Unwinnable By Design

(OHGODWHAT) Session-spanning errors, corrupt lands, extreme Horrorterror/Angel influence, timeline bugs, combo sessions, frog incest, reality-eroding errors, session viruses, Time Demons, Violation of basic session structure (three dream planets, two Skaias, etc.), Unwinnable By Insanity

RS: So yeah. I'm happy to help. Assuming help is a thing that's possible.

I wish some people would use this before claiming stupid things.
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Offline 06-04-2017, 11:56 AM
Reply: #2
RE: SBURB Bug Help Desk
--- PAST cetaceanAcologist started responding to this memo 127 sweeps in the past.---

CA: o)< hello, if i may inQUIRE...
CA: o)< i seem to have... died.
CA: o)< but im still HERE? not dead?
CA: o)< my whats-it... dreamself is dead.
CA: o)< and i can vaguely recall my godtier self dying as well...
CA: -)< but HERE i am, alive and well!
CA: o)< im back at my hive (is that a thing humans have?)
CA: o)< but something seems fucky.
CA: o)< i had a conversation that i couldve sworn i had before, but...
CA: o)< okay, to get to the point:
CA: !)< am i dead? or am i alive? is this a glitch? AM I A GLITCH?


don't talk to me unless you relate to this on a spiritual level
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Offline 06-04-2017, 12:37 PM
Reply: #3
RE: SBURB Bug Help Desk
(06-04-2017 11:56 AM)mariachiArsonist Wrote:  --- PAST cetaceanAcologist started responding to this memo 127 sweeps in the past.---

CA: o)< hello, if i may inQUIRE...
CA: o)< i seem to have... died.
CA: o)< but im still HERE? not dead?
CA: o)< my whats-it... dreamself is dead.
CA: o)< and i can vaguely recall my godtier self dying as well...
CA: -)< but HERE i am, alive and well!
CA: o)< im back at my hive (is that a thing humans have?)
CA: o)< but something seems fucky.
CA: o)< i had a conversation that i couldve sworn i had before, but...
CA: o)< okay, to get to the point:
CA: !)< am i dead? or am i alive? is this a glitch? AM I A GLITCH?

RS: (Not a Glitch) You're dead. You're in what is known as a "dreambubble". It's basically the afterlife but composed of your memories and shit.

RS: You might run into some other dead players there too, but most of the people you see are just memories. Sorry.

RS: It may come as a surprise to you, but dying totally blows. Endless teenage drama. Hope you have a Life player to revive you.

I wish some people would use this before claiming stupid things.
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Offline 06-04-2017, 07:31 PM
Reply: #4
RE: SBURB Bug Help Desk
PP: Yes, hello!
PP: Kilius seems to have touched a book laying on a table and he is now currently falling through the world!
PP: Kilius is seeing a whole lot of everything right now!

[Image: 9bb7pc.gif]

Do the evolution
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Offline 06-04-2017, 09:27 PM (This reply was last modified: 06-04-2017 10:28 PM by la devotee.)(Edited by la devotee.)
Reply: #5
RE: SBURB Bug Help Desk
-- ??? graphicalGadgeteer [GG]??? HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo. --

GG: okay so were talking about glitches
GG: well let me start by saying we have a FUCKTON
GG: its like these glitches are busy fucking us up
GG: more than a whore in the busy season
GG: so much that weve ended up sprawled on the floor and mostly about to die
GG: anyways the thing is
GG: for dreamselves one of us is already dead
GG: before the game started one of us was assasinated
GG: we do have a space and time player thats not a problem
GG: but no one prototyped shit pre-entry
GG: almost like someone slash thing was blocking us from doing so
GG: it was obviously some asinine bullshit
GG: then our planets were completely desolate for some god awful reason
GG: its practically screaming at us with a voice that reaches the highest heavens
GG: "YOU FUCKED UP HERES YOUR CONSEQUENCE"
GG: do you have any advice in our utterly ridiculous session
GG: because we are desperate
GG: and we dont want to just WAIT for the people to arrive in the session
GG: we dont stand around
GG: we dont dig the shit like those weird action figures
GG: scratch that those aint action figures those are INaction figures
GG: we dont want to end up rolling in our graves waiting for people to cross a goddamn yard

[Image: 0EMev84.png]

^ !! my au !! ^
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Offline 06-05-2017, 12:05 AM
Reply: #6
RE: SBURB Bug Help Desk
(06-04-2017 07:31 PM)AncientE%cursion Wrote:  PP: Yes, hello!
PP: Kilius seems to have touched a book laying on a table and he is now currently falling through the world!
PP: Kilius is seeing a whole lot of everything right now!

RS: Well, first off, nobody seems to be using the perfectly good tags I had set up, probably because the tags are shit and don't cover most stuff.

RS: Anyways, I'm not quite sure what happened, but it's probably an issue with collision detection and hitboxes.

RS: Normally when game physics bugs out, it does one of two things- it decides "IDK just go up really fast" or "WTF I guess just phase through shit". You got the latter. Maybe it's part of your quest.

RS: Regardless, the weird shit you're seeing is the UNDERWORLD. It's a weird area that usually is Post-Denizen and Post-Earthsea Borealis. Most shit after the Denizen is about as plot-necessary as a DLC, but here's the lowdown anyways.

RS: See that massive pulsing light? That's the Heart of the World. You need to get it eventually, but not before banishing the Angels, which are basically bullshit sperm with wings in appearance that hurt you if you violate The Law, which is an arbitrary set of rules you have to follow until you banish the Angels.

RS: I fucking hate Angels. They corrupt you and they're so poorly thought out as a game feature I'm sure they originated outside of the game. If you break their shit (desecrate shrines, topple urns, blow up angel statues), they'll eventually go away.

RS: I know what you're thinking- THIS ISN'T STOPPING ME FROM FALLING INFINITELY!

RS: Just try grabbing an angel. I would usually recommend against this SO HARD, but their weirdness just might reset your collision.

I wish some people would use this before claiming stupid things.
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Offline 06-05-2017, 12:07 AM
Reply: #7
RE: SBURB Bug Help Desk
(( im getting a shit ton of replay value au vibes right here ))

[Image: 0EMev84.png]

^ !! my au !! ^
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Offline 06-05-2017, 12:10 AM (This reply was last modified: 06-05-2017 12:11 AM by recursiveSlacker.)(Edited by recursiveSlacker.)
Reply: #8
RE: SBURB Bug Help Desk
(06-04-2017 09:27 PM)la devotee Wrote:  -- ??? graphicalGadgeteer [GG]??? HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo. --

GG: okay so were talking about glitches
GG: well let me start by saying we have a FUCKTON
GG: its like these glitches are busy fucking us up
GG: more than a whore in the busy season
GG: so much that weve ended up sprawled on the floor and mostly about to die
GG: anyways the thing is
GG: for dreamselves one of us is already dead
GG: before the game started one of us was assasinated
GG: we do have a space and time player thats not a problem
GG: but no one prototyped shit pre-entry
GG: almost like someone slash thing was blocking us from doing so
GG: it was obviously some asinine bullshit
GG: then our planets were completely desolate for some god awful reason
GG: its practically screaming at us with a voice that reaches the highest heavens
GG: "YOU FUCKED UP HERES YOUR CONSEQUENCE"
GG: do you have any advice in our utterly ridiculous session
GG: because we are desperate
GG: and we dont want to just WAIT for the people to arrive in the session
GG: we dont stand around
GG: we dont dig the shit like those weird action figures
GG: scratch that those aint action figures those are INaction figures
GG: we dont want to end up rolling in our graves waiting for people to cross a goddamn yard

RS: Haha, WOW. Well, you indeed fucked your session so hard it's pressing charges.

RS: You just gotta wait, otherwise fate will kill you to death, making you die instantly. Destiny is such flagrant bullshit and I hate it, but don't do anything that could fuck up shit further. Do your quests, comply with prophecies, and in general fuck around until the heroes show up.

RS: Though, just gonna warn you, your session is part of a weird creation chain that sorta recycles characters and universes, culminating in some nasty bullshit at the end.

RS: On the bright side, you ARE destined to succeed, so, WIN???


((More GlitchFAQ, really. It's my favorite and I love it. This is almost an effort to "fill in" unfinished parts in a fun way.))

I wish some people would use this before claiming stupid things.
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Offline 06-05-2017, 01:17 AM
Reply: #9
RE: SBURB Bug Help Desk
-- ??? AstrologicalWagerer [AW] ??? HOURS FROM NOW responded to the memo ---
AW: $Ok so To use Those TAgs you puT AT The beggining (OHGODWHAT) (Ninety Dimensional Chess: Skaia)


AW:$Yes we fucked up. To suM our siTuATion in A couple of senTences: Due To A chAin of evenTs involving a BArd of Life wiTh PK And AggrievAnce our BlAck King ended up wiTh The BlAck Queen's Ring, which's power he Then used To kill The WhiTe King And sTarT The reckoning.

AW:$Given ThAT we were A Ten plAyers session And now There Are four lefT we know we couldn'T fighT the King And Tried To scrATch.

AW:$Here sTArTs The gliTch becAuse AppArenTly our BlAck King CAN leAve SkAiA And hAs now insTAlled hiMself in My PlAneT prevenTing us froM Accesing The ScrATch consTrucT.
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Offline 06-05-2017, 01:20 AM (This reply was last modified: 06-05-2017 01:22 AM by The Vantas Inquision.)(Edited by The Vantas Inquision.)
Reply: #10
RE: SBURB Bug Help Desk
---User gloatingHarbinger responded to the memo 413 DAYS from now---

GH: Okay so i'm gonna just get straight to the goddamn point.
GH: THIS IS FUCKED!
GH: People are dying on the streets and everyone else in my session is trying to stop this goddamn virus!
GH: Goddammit Skaia.
GH: Just when I save civilization, you fucking ruin it.
GH: Shit is fucked my dudes.
GH: This is not good.
GH: So basically I spawned in a Denizen, it was dead and contaminated.
GH: It carried this virus, which like, glitches people and they die of some mysterious wound or they die by their own hands.
GH: FUCKING M. NIGHT SHAMADICK WAS RIGHT!
GH: ITS THE FUCKING HAPPENING.
GH: All the life players are dead and most of the slyphs are dead too.
GH: If anyone would like to help before me and my friends die in my shitty house, please do.
GH: I could really use something.


[Image: sig_by_ekura123-dbatol2.png]

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