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Tortured (tell me how I am doing)
Offline 05-12-2017, 05:18 AM (This reply was last modified: 05-12-2017 11:03 PM by MamaAlice.)(Edited by MamaAlice.)
Reply: #1
Tortured (tell me how I am doing)
This is an unfinished story I plan on finishing and making better but I need to know if you like so I can update more and more every few days or so.


PS for certain people this could be triggering so......trigger warning.

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Offline 05-13-2017, 03:46 AM
Reply: #2
RE: Tortured (tell me how I am doing)
Bump!!
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Offline 05-15-2017, 07:55 AM
Reply: #3
RE: Tortured (tell me how I am doing)
great work!! Keep it up

baby ur a song

[Image: zacharie_by_k7vin-d64eb0t.gif]

u make me wanna roll my windows down
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Offline 05-15-2017, 12:18 PM
Reply: #4
RE: Tortured (tell me how I am doing)
Bump and thank you!!
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Offline 05-21-2017, 04:22 AM
Reply: #5
RE: Tortured (tell me how I am doing)
(05-12-2017 05:18 AM)MamaAlice Wrote:  
This is an unfinished story I plan on finishing and making better but I need to know if you like so I can update more and more every few days or so.
I've never reviewed a fan-fic/fic on this website before, so I guess today is the day. I've done fic reviews on other websites before, but no this one (yet) although I was eventually hoping to do so. Most of the analysis will be in the 'spoilers' below.



PS for certain people this could be triggering so......trigger warning.

I think you have a very interesting plot going on here, one with a lot of mystery. However, the writing itself seems to read very 'list-like' which kind of slows it down a bit, and destroys some of the tension. I would say, if you work hard at it, this story could have quite a bit of potential! But the pacing does seem to be a bit of an issue.

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