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Preach! (A story of purple, mischief, fakey gods, and rebellion.)
Offline 05-26-2016, 08:11 PM (This reply was last modified: 01-16-2017 10:53 PM by Trusty McCoolguy.)(Edited by Trusty McCoolguy.)
Reply: #1
Preach! (A story of purple, mischief, fakey gods, and rebellion.)
Some warnings before we begin. This is essentially a personal take on a somewhat well known AU in that certain elements are being borrowed (in which clowns live on a fleet and have all sorts of churchy things going on, a lot of stuff heavily influenced by / borrowed from POF though I aim to make it as original as possible with that in mind). Expect at least some slight mentions of gore/violence at some point, unlikely that it'd be anything past what the comic does. There is also going to be an UNGODLY amount of trashy clown talk, including prolific swearing for certain characters, no less than two instances of pale affections which may be unsuitable for younger instances, a questionable bond of 'family' shared between large numbers of trolls, three instances of flushed interactions, two instances of pitch flirting, and one ashen solicitation.

There will also be light mention of torture, as well as casteist, ableist language, bigoted behaviors, several mentions of things near-treason to the Empire, several instances of treason to the Fleet, silly behavior, no less than two executions in flashback, annoying author bullshit, an attempt to overthrow power in the Fleet, betrayal of the worst kind, excessive worldbuilding, this annoyingly small font, gifs, and much more that is too tiring to type and would completely spoil the story.

If you are faint of heart this story may not be for you, as there may be more triggers / tags that haven't been added. While this will attempt to stay within the realm of comic, it's not possible to anticipate everything. Attempts will be made to put triggers at the beginning of any posts that don't match up with what's here, but this author is merely human, and is fallible; mistakes can be made.

One last thing: While this has a lot of headcanon-y information about a made-up, fakey fake religion portrayed in Canon as though it's real (from many different standpoints), any parallels to real religion or real belief sets are purely incidental. In no way are any comments supposed to resemble / remark upon any real life equivalents, and in no way is any offense meant with any of it.

With that out of the way, let us begin.








[Image: Yn9KYmI.gif]


Oh, but you might've had almost jumped when you walked into the great, grand throne room and the thought of the grand highblood manifested itself, his maw nothing but a shadow of white leering at you, not wholly unkind, from his seat.

Shaking off the sight of something that you know as fact weren't true there, you move to the throne yourself. You don't feel like sittin' there, now, but what's a motherfucker to tell you? That you have to sit there if you in the throne room? Nah, no fucker'll say on you what you should and shouldn't do, so respected as you are.

After all, you're the Grand Highblood now, been that way for sweeps, till you were well and truly fucking accepting of the day to day trials that come up and make themselves known as they do for one as rules.

No, you didn't jump at the haunting almost-vision of the one what preceded you. You got family, Church through and through, wigglers and old what look on you and need you to be strong at any point of night. When it's morning, when the sun would be high and deathly strong overhead, when you're alone in 'cupe and 'coon, that's when you'll think about what you saw. 'Till then, you are well and truly mirthful at the stutterings of the young ones come to have audience with you. They think you large and old as stars and untouchable, the little ones, brats though they may be; you've had your share of shaping wigglers' minds, gettin' a schoolfeed on. Scripture was always your point of reference, with them, and hark! As 'verse falls from the little one's lips, one of your latest pupils, you know you did your job well in teaching it. You took to it like water and it seems some of your own have too.

"...It’s not a wise one who leaves the place of their motherfucking heart untimely, no laughter in the suffering of those early lost of their quadrants so rest you with heart and spade and club and diamond and speak of the fucking Hilarity to each other." The young one recites brazenly, despite their stutter, and then, "I was hoping you might allow time off," the little one murmurs. "It hasn't been long since my truest rival was b-brought low," and it's clear it's a fresh wound. You remember hearing their jagged sobs recently when word got back that some as had been sent on a mission (by you, and the guilt weighs, but you know better as to let it eat at you) hadn't come back alive.

"What book? What verse?" You interrogate, just to see if the kid knows his shit or if he needs some more learning.

"Hilarities 4, verse 20."

"Well done, brother. Shh," you say, and it ain't pale, but it's close, the soft gentleness you use when your family is suffering and something must be done. Once, your moirail couldn't get his understanding on of it, and you fought over it. It wasn't his fault, he'd been out of caste, how was he to know? but... You suppress a sigh. Those times are over.

"You got a pilemate, Jessai?"

"Y-Yessir," and the little one looks so shocked that you managed to get your knowing on of their name.

"Go to 'em. If your 'rail is on ship, like as you, they get two weeks without leavin' too. If they ain't, take the time off soon's they arrive."

It doesn't take long for the audiences to drone on, and for you to slip into your throne again out of idleness as the time passes. It isn't that you don't find them worth your attention, or that you don't care, because you do, wholeheartedly. It's just that it's a lot of thinking work and none for your body, and sometimes it gets you fidgety or makes you want to rest a while. Once you're alone again, family's needs met and troubles soothed and plans made for the future, you reflect a little before bothering to start moving.

You're part of a DEEPLY RELIGIOUS AND SUCCESSFUL CULT, which only opens its arms to the MOTHERFUCKING RIGHTEOUS MEMBERS OF YOUR CASTE. You are, of course, a purple-blooded troll, some of the best blood swimming in your veins. YOUR CULT BELIEVES IN THE MIRTHFUL MESSIAHS, as do you, AND UNLIKE MOST ADULT TROLLS IN SPACE, YOU HAVE A FLEET OF SHIPS ON WHICH YOUR MINIATURE EMPIRE LIVES. Unless your family is spending time on another ship for quadrant bonding, or on missions, NONE OF YOU LEAVE, AS THE FLEET IS MOTHERFUCKING HOME TO YOU ALL. Moreover, unlike anyone outside of your caste, YOU REGARD EACH OTHER AS FAMILY. Brothers and sisters all, WHOOP WHOOP. Many call you A BUNCH OF CREEPY CLOWN FREAKS, but it works to your advantage. When a team of your best go out, it invokes immediate fear in their prey... most of the time. The other times, there's a righteous battle. Either way, corpses full of miracles find their way back, unless there's some as need inquisitioning done on their sorry carcasses.

You enjoy PAINTING ON THE WALLS (using those selfsame bloody miracles), SWEET ELIXIR, MOTHERFUCKING MIRTHFUL JOKES, RIDING ON YOUR ONE-WHEEL DEVICE, SCRIPTURE, and HORNS. Horns as in the musical device, of course. You're not that much of a pervert, and 'sides, if you were as to want for a good rack, you got horns enough of your own to stare at.

Most of all, you enjoy clinging to your childhood and LOOKING FOR THE WHIMSY IN THINGS when things aren't too serious, and THINKING OF YOUR... ex-MOIRAIL.

You would usually give out your name at a time like this, but it isn't actually appropriate right now. All things considered, it's time to be someone else. For now, you'll say your name is The Grand Highblood and leave it at that; there's someone banging on your door mighty hard, and that means there's something as needs your immediate attention.


Now that you've been the Grand Highblood due to author shenanigans, who will you be next?

1. ?????? ?????? (Character UNAVAILABLE)
2. ?????? ??????
3. ?????? ??????
4. ?????? ??????
5. ?????? ?????? (The Grand Highblood: Currently UNAVAILABLE)
6. ?????? ??????


(Edit: Bolded the character choices and changed the colors a lil to show that they are in fact different purples better.)

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Offline 05-27-2016, 04:19 AM
Reply: #2
RE: Preach! (A story of purple, mischief, fakey gods, and rebellion.)
>Be character 3

[Image: wOGGEID.png]
[Image: monstercat_phones_by_gamebuster911-d8sxy7m.gif]
MP: Huh? Sorry, I had my headphones on.
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Offline 05-27-2016, 05:57 AM (This reply was last modified: 05-27-2016 03:14 PM by Trusty McCoolguy.)(Edited by Trusty McCoolguy.)
Reply: #3
RE: Preach! (A story of purple, mischief, fakey gods, and rebellion.)

> Be Character 3

You are now character 3.


[Image: cWOjJIp.png]


You enjoy F-F-FACEPAINTS, SNEAKING AROUND, SECRETS, and B-BEING GENERALLY OBNOXIOUS. SCRIPTURE is something you've taken well to, enraptured as you were with the Grand Highblood's declamations and preaching (motherf-f-fucker has a voice as like to Messiah's in your pan, though it be heresy to say a troll be as one of them, thundering and compelling when he speaks on the verses of those as came b-bef-f-fore).

You have an ANNOYING STUTTER that mostly centers around the letters 'B' and 'F', which originated recently. You are VERY ANNOYED that your quirk has changed without your say-so this way, but YOU CANNOT FIND IT IN YOURSELF TO CHANGE IT BACK. You also find that you can no longer say the words 'DEAD' or 'DIED', and replace them with other euphemisms or a cross whenever you can. Thus, when you use your PDA, you talk like this, most of the time. bbut there's always something + at the bback of your fffucking mind. Oh, and your username is quietDignitary.


What is your name?


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Offline 05-27-2016, 06:45 AM
Reply: #4
RE: Preach! (A story of purple, mischief, fakey gods, and rebellion.)
>PITTERPUT MCGEE

[Image: wOGGEID.png]
[Image: monstercat_phones_by_gamebuster911-d8sxy7m.gif]
MP: Huh? Sorry, I had my headphones on.
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Offline 05-27-2016, 07:16 AM (This reply was last modified: 05-27-2016 07:18 AM by Trusty McCoolguy.)(Edited by Trusty McCoolguy.)
Reply: #5
RE: Preach! (A story of purple, mischief, fakey gods, and rebellion.)

> Pitterput McGee

[Image: 354y9rm.png]

You have no f-f-fucking idea who that is or why this utter f-f-flapbeast-shit idea just entered your pan. Try the f-f-fuck again.

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Offline 05-27-2016, 07:53 AM
Reply: #6
RE: Preach! (A story of purple, mischief, fakey gods, and rebellion.)
>CLUBLAND XSTREAAAAM

[Image: wOGGEID.png]
[Image: monstercat_phones_by_gamebuster911-d8sxy7m.gif]
MP: Huh? Sorry, I had my headphones on.
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Offline 05-27-2016, 09:23 AM (This reply was last modified: 05-27-2016 11:43 AM by Trusty McCoolguy.)(Edited by Trusty McCoolguy.)
Reply: #7
RE: Preach! (A story of purple, mischief, fakey gods, and rebellion.)
> CLUBLAND XSTREAAAAM

That is certainly most NOT your name. Since apparently the prompts are too idiotic to get it right (f-f-fourth wall? what wall?), you deign to reveal your name.


[Image: Q0dLUKr.png]


You are JESSAI MARRIN, and you are struck with loss.

You aren't wearing your usual holy f-f-face; no, there's signs that ought to be motherf-f-fucking shown, the spade-tear as a start, with your truest rival, serendipity-made, b-brought down low like she was. She was all hard angles and sharp teeth and inf-f-furiating grins. At f-f-first you'd thought you were just b-being hasty, without time for serendipity to lay fronds on you, eager to fill a quadrant for a spell so the drones wouldn't b-bother you. She'd had no palemate or f-f-flushed heart, no clubs to b-be with her on her mission; nor were there any here, f-f-for all that she hooked up f-f-flush once or twice, "no strings attached" she'd said. It had driven you mad with irritation, her irreverence for quadrants. You were all she had, as pathetic as you were, and she drove you to hatred and b-broke you down and b-built you up again all anew. She worked miracles on you, pushing you to your b-best, and she was your b-beloathed. You don't think you'll ever get past the loss of her, even with your moirail to guide and comfort you. Even now your claws twitch in longing, wanting her there to roughhive with, to snark and snarl at.

While the loss of your kismesis weighs heavily on your pusher, you have (unfortunately) other things to think about. Especially with your moirail coming over for a spell soon.


Speaking of your moirail, you should prob-bab-bly do something about your room...

[Image: K3FV6qP.png]

Your posters of Troll Zac Ef-f-fron and IT are still up, b-but otherwise the place is pretty scarce. Not pictured is the other side of the room, where a lot of trash is laying about.

What should you do?

> Clean up!
> Relax a little
> Mourn your hatefriend
> Message your moirail to see when they'll be back
> Something else altogether

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Offline 05-27-2016, 02:32 PM
Reply: #8
RE: Preach! (A story of purple, mischief, fakey gods, and rebellion.)
>Message your moirail. It wouldn't hurt to get a timeframe.

[Image: wOGGEID.png]
[Image: monstercat_phones_by_gamebuster911-d8sxy7m.gif]
MP: Huh? Sorry, I had my headphones on.
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Offline 05-27-2016, 03:39 PM (This reply was last modified: 05-27-2016 03:51 PM by Trusty McCoolguy.)(Edited by Trusty McCoolguy.)
Reply: #9
RE: Preach! (A story of purple, mischief, fakey gods, and rebellion.)
> Message your moirail. It wouldn't hurt to get a timeframe.


Shit. You... didn't expect that. Okay... okay. Let's try again.


Well, you can't say you expected anything different, but it's... reassuring to see her text. And her use of your cross was endearing and a subtle show of her support and pale affection, something she didn't have to go out of her way to do.

Messiahs, but you're pale for her. Kin or no, you don't know where you'd be without her.


> Clean up your room
> Relax a little
> Mourn your hatefriend
> Be someone else (show character screen) [ Character Unlocked ]
> Something else altogether

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Offline 05-27-2016, 04:26 PM
Reply: #10
RE: Preach! (A story of purple, mischief, fakey gods, and rebellion.)
>Jessai: Clean your room

[Image: wOGGEID.png]
[Image: monstercat_phones_by_gamebuster911-d8sxy7m.gif]
MP: Huh? Sorry, I had my headphones on.
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