Full Version: Dirk's null session support group
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((Ahh TY TY @captivatedBibliosoph. Pictures just help me think.))
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TG: nah man
TG: names jad lalonde
TG: *jade
TG: i think we got a roxy egbert
TG: but its been awhile
TG: or felt like awhile
TG: havent gotten to see em in
TG: like
TG: forver
TG: *forever
TG: so you guys are all alt verse versions of my friends? :o
TG: coolio
TG: but idk how much help i can be
TG: didnt gtier before i died
TG: and the reason my sesion failed was cause we didnt have a time player
TG: *session
TG: just a space player
TG: course the session my roxy is from
TG: only had a time player
TG: so i guess were even stevens
TG: but i guess ill come anyway
TG: if i find said bonfire
((You're actually really talented at art @Sheepun! Always looking forward at seeing them. :)

Calliope also took a look at her pesterchum after hearing numerous amounts of notification rings.

TG: hi newcomers!
TG: seems like u got effed as well, our session's like that too know
TG: don't worry! most of us didn't got to fully level up too ^u^
UT: From what you said, Cali does have a point that our sessions had some similar hiccups.
UT: I mean a large part of the reason why a lot of us died is cause of trouble with the scratch and a lack of godtiers.
UT: At least, that's the case with our personal doomed timelines.
TG: yeah!
TG: what he said! OuO
--- (???) recursiveSlacker[RS] responded to memo ---

RS: Hahaha WOW. JR was right, this branch of reality is even weirder than I thought.

RS: Like, how many timelines is this?

RS: And all of them ended in a REALLY catastrophic way. Some game construct got way too OP, time got stuck in a program loop, and... one sec.

RS: Yeah, I'm gonna just check the console logs here. Yep, the game has logs, although they get a bit weird sometimes. I tried reading the code directly but the inline comments made me turn gray, suck the light out of the general area, and start speaking, like, Italian or something.


RS: okay this isn't right wtf

RS: Um. Well. TT, Apparently your branch of reality is more of a part of the trunk to continue the tree metaphor. So much important shit happens involving the tail end of your creation chain- the last few sessions.

RS: The Green Sun, a universe-slaying, the TERMINUS of the sun, and... honestly, after that shit gets nasty. The logs have to be wrong. Nobody can win that session. And they would never just hand over something like that. Shit is just neglectful even by child-murdering-video-game standards.

RS: Anyways. My session.

RS: So we all know the Alpha timeline is the only one that can make universes right? So this means that there's just one unbroken chain with doomed offshoots going off the side to wither into fuck-nothingness.

RS: Or so I thought.

RS: Everyone in the loop had entered. I was completely prepared to start the game.


RS: We were supposed to be the branch-off. Another entry chain occurred at the same time, from the same planet, and Skaia split.

RS: Twins. Motherfuckin froggy twins. Ribbit bros. I'm still pissed about what happened next.

RS: Apparently gravity isn't keen on complex systems involving binary battlefields, and they crashed. Huh.

RS: JR and I have been hanging out with KR for a while, though, just looking at weird sessions and shit. We've made a contest of seeing who can find the most fucked up ones.

RS: Clearly, I win, forever. I've been looking for these fucking sessions for a while now and finally I found the source of that time demon that keeps showing up.

RS: Fucker ruins everyone's day and from what I've seen has set up everything bad that's ever happened.

RS: Plus his lieutenant? Excellent host, terrible person.

RS: I'm sorry to hear about GG and other GG, and TT?

RS: I feel you. Planet smashing isn't pretty.

RS: I'll try to track LOWAS once I find its past version but there's no guarantee I'll find where it went if it was moved using bizzare means.

RS: And knowing what little I do about your session? It was bizzare, and I'll find exactly jack shit.
UT: You don't seem to be an alternate paradox space self of me and the others like some other people here, except maybe @CT, so, who might you be?
TG: this timeline is weird yeah
TG: u probably know me and my pals already, u did backread, right?
UT: You've been screaming "hi's" and "my name is Cali" all the time, who would not catch on?
RS: Haha, no, I'm not from anything that's even remotely like the shitstorm you call a session.

RS: Seriously. Shit's on fire, yo.

RS: Plus I think I'm running a different version of the game than you are. I think yours had different features and stuff.

RS: Too bad that apparently in ~ATH programs you can basically import things from future versions no problem, so instead of your time demon turning into missingno., it's totally wrecking shit in other "nearby" sessions.

RS: I can see it. It's terrifying. Holy fuck, it's like if Stephen King and HP Lovecraft decided to write Hulk fanfiction.

RS: I'm sure I've got a rundown on some of you. Orange TT, you apparently were in a planet fight and shit got fucked.

RS: Red TG, you're like, a robot? No, wait, that was another alt you.

RS: But you aren't alpha I don't think. To be completely honest I focus on the alpha timelines because it's less depressing.

RS: Usually. Sorry, TT.

RS: CT decided to click on an ad for a boner pill and infected cybertron with malware.

RS: Pink TG is a fan of cats or something.

RS: TT hates TT. Which TT?

RS: Yes. The answer to "which one" is "yes".

RS: Blue GG is mind controlled, and so is a version of green GG. Maybe if you don't use double-G chat handles the mind control will stop. I mean, it's a pattern.

RS: Apparently Hydro-Mussolini is a thing and she's also... a baker?

RS: Wow. I feel weird not being surprised.

RS: And everyone's surnames are fucked up. Par for the course.

RS: Is that about right?
TG: so youre basically saying
TG: we were all desitened to be fuck ups no matter what? :/
TG: *destined
TG: and are talking about pink roxy TG
TG: or me
TG: i do like cats tho
TG: i like all the animals
TG: even the sad ugly ones
TG: but from what ive red of the backlog
TG: *read
TG: p much what you said RS :u
JANE: Well, my best greetings, I think you're me and I'm you from a different universe.
The girl tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, a smile stil present on her face even though her eyes were hidden behind shades.
JANE: Guess it's lovely to meet you.

Roxy picks up her phone and snaps her fingers to cause most of the fires to be put out, but...
GG: oh some1s comin
GG: also no i think the actions that led to a certain point had made shit go down and spiral
GG: went on longer than the staircase goin to hell
GG: i feel like there were warning sirens tho
GG: but that went well n we all ended up here in a shitstorm mcflurry served cold w a little drizzle of fuck you from sburb
GG: tbh tho i think it isnt connected to the chat handle
GG: do you think its connected to our surnames instead???
GG: anw 4 u pink tg who just said they liked cats ilysm already
GG: and also if ur gonna get here im sure u can be able to see a lil more of those fires

Roxy snaps her fingers once again, and yet another display of fires dances around the background. They're further away, so that they won't feel so hot.

DIRK: Seeing as both sides of the paper have been written on already, so I'll just input my verbal remarks.
DIRK: To be frank, I went grimdark, I fucked up the session, Jake Egbert had to kiss-revive me because I was stupid enough to go after our version of your Jack Noir.
DIRK: Our version is a cat, pretty much, since Ro had to prototype a first guardian there too. Godka Mutini, or something, but she once called it Margaricat when she found it funny and mostly Atom when she wasn't making shitty alcohol jokes.
DIRK: There's also the one person who talks in all-white text and they really can't tell lies. By can't, I mean impossible.
DIRK: That doesn't mean they can't dance around the truth, which I witnessed firsthand.
DIRK: Something tells me there's more in the other session we're going into.
DIRK: I hope they aren't too major like those you listed... but they might be very, very similar, judging by the nature of our sessions.
((Dan you guys are RP-ing your characters much better than I am :O

Alex is the one focusing on the others that she's talking to currently in person, while Dirk Egbert and Cali are busy talking to others on pesterchum. However, for a moment, Cali chimes in to respond to Jane Strider.

CALI: n2mu too sis, if u r my sis since we're technically having the same surnames and all
CALI: that's something to think about OuO

She promptly returns to reading the memos.

ALEX: There's way too many important crap to think about first though, before all that stuff about our DNA's and shit fills our minds with useless trash to distract us from our inevitable hell.
ALEX: D Lalonde, you said about you going grimdark, while R Harley talked about a connection to our surnames being a possible reason.
ALEX: Sorry but that's definitely not true, and I can debunk that. See, I never went grimdark.
ALEX: At least, my Alpha Self never did, from what I've heard.

Meanwhile, in the memo.

TG: pretty much :U
UT: I'm surprised you actually got it all right. You must be quite intellectual.
UT: So yeah, to summarize, you and @CT are from completely separate universes where I and the others either don't exist or ain't at all important.
UT: The others are basically one big tree of multiverses, and we're very different branches from one another.
UT: I hope you got all that.
TG: i really have nothing more to say, everything's just strange
TG: but we do try helping each other OuO
((TBH i'm making up jade lalonde's personality as I go haha. Trying to meld Jade's and Roxy's personalities together and I have no idea how I'm doing lol))
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TG: i see a light
TG: hallenjah
TG: *hallelujah
TG: ill zoom right over
TG: so if the universe is onw big tree
TG: *one
TG: does that mean the dream bubbles are the truck :o
TG: like
TG: by all means we shouldnt be able to meet up or talk like this
TG: if were seperate branchs
TG: *separate branches
JANE CROCKER: It's nice to meet you too, other me!
JAKE ENGLISH: So you're related to this Jane and she's related to that other Strider who is probably related to Dirk...
JAKE ENGLISH: Is there anyone here who ISN'T somehow related to everyone else in some bizarre twist of the family tree?

JANE CROCKER: It's like one big family reunion!

Jane and Jake smile as they join the group. Dirk follows, but hangs back a bit. He's focused on his shades, where he's reading the new responses to the memo.

TT: @RS, congrats on your resounding victory.
TT: This is truly the most fucked up group to ever spawn from the depths of paradox space, and you've found it.
TT: It seems like you've got the jist of what's going down over here.
TT: Jesus fuckin' Christ though, reading through your use of chumhandle abbreviation gave me a migraine.
TT: We need to name our sessions and put all this on a god damn spreadsheet.
TT: Organise this shit into neat little categories so we can stop going, "Hey TG. No, other TG. No, other TG."
TT: On and on, stuck in a stupid loop for all of eternity as we slowly sink further into doomed timeline obscurity.
TT: My universe will be UA1.
TT: 'A' being the multiverse cluster with all the Striders, Egberts, Harleys, Lalondes, and so forth.
TT: The 1 is because we were the first in the memo. First come first serve.
TT: Pink tipsyGnostalgic, you're with us until proven otherwise.
TT: Dirk Egbert, Alex Lalonde, Cali Strider, your universe is UA2. Multiverse cluster A, second in the memo.
TT: ComputerTechy, you're in UB3. Multiverse cluster B, third in the memo. You get the idea.
TT: Roxy Harley and Co. are UA4.
TT: Jade Lalonde, your universe is going to be UA5.
TT: And last but not least, recursiveSlacker with UC6.
TT: Here's the offical spreadsheet, it should make things easier to keep track of.
TT: I'll keep the list updated as more people join the memo.

refocuses on what's going on around him. He looks between all the different versions of people gathered in this burning field and takes a breath.

DIRK STRIDER: Looks like Jade L. is almost to the meet up, and RS is trying to find my session.
DIRK STRIDER: Now that we've got a reference for the baddies in our three sessions, we can use our combined knowledge to start making plans to beat them.
DIRK STRIDER: Seems like the first thing to cover would be grimdark players.
DIRK STRIDER: We need to figure out who's in danger of going grimdark before we can start to put measures in place to prevent it.
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