Full Version: Dirk's null session support group
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JadedResearcher has finally navigated the stupid fucking almost explosions enough to leave LOWAS. JR is naturally drawn to the most narratively significant area and meet up with the Grace, the new Waste and everybody else.

JadedResearcher: Uh. Hi. Um. I'm JadedResearcher, Waste of Mind. My name is censored. Along with my face??? Don't worry about it.
JadedResearcher: I read Dirk's summary. And um, I think it might be my fault, about the whole black hole thing having Narrative significance here.
JadedResearcher: friend, Seer of Void, uh, well, when he latched onto that stupid black hole thing, that seemed an easy 'in' to the Narrative, you know? So I sorta pushed everybody into choosing to continue to remember it existed, and shit. And also Lord English. I made sure people kept remembering he was a thing that existed.
JadedResearcher: Nothing serious, I'm not CRAZY. Just a little nudge to some decision trees. Weighted a few branches more than they otherwise would. Maybe I was too subtle about it, because fuck if I have ANY control over the Narrative at this point.
JadedResearcher: Um...would that be...YOUR doing? Coral?
Coral stares at jadedResearcher in total silence for a long moment.

CORAL: Fuck.
CORAL: You're not supposed to be here, I was aiming for the branch where you stayed put in your session, well, that explains the significance of
The Pocket, but goddamn, I must be loosing my edge, missed my mark by a fucking mile on that one.

huffs and looks down at her feet, just in time to see Junior emerge from the bubble and fly up to join Dirk. Looks like he finally decided to clear out before the fire got to him. After a moment of thought Coral turns her attention back to jadedResearcher with a new light in her eyes.

CORAL: Actually this is better, we can use this, because if it were just some random fuck floating around paradox space giving The Pocket significance, then we would have a bigger problem, but since you've got it under your narrative, no matter how uncontrolled, we should be able to to fulfill its significance with something satisfying, and lead it to its undoing at the same time, kill two birds with one stone and all that, though it will be harder than if it were insignificant, because then we could just find some stupid bullshit way to get rid of it without worrying about the narrative's satisfaction, but this will still work, and it will be WAY more satisfying.

grin is sharp and giddy.

CORAL: And to answer your question, I don't know, maybe, I've fucked around with a handful of little things in this grand ol clusterfuck, but probably nothing major enough to mess with your control, hopefully it won't be a problem, and after this narrative is all tied up, it should give you a real nice power boost, and that will be good for putting you back on your game.
((Holy crap look at all those Wastes and Graces! I'm kinda contemplating on self-inserting a very insignificant character but... ain't this a bit too complicated already? I'm not sure :|

After the roleplayer got their freaking shit together, they began detailing what the hell is up with the others.

Dirk Egbert and Cali Strider weren't able to say anything, mainly because they didn't get a chance to, when the Grace appeared. While Blue Dirk stared at her curiously, Cali is obviously very VERY interested in the stranger that she couldn't contain her excitement! This is possibly just a side effect, their robotic bodies slightly messing up their emotional state, nothing really important, right?


Anyways, thanks again to their robotic advantages, they somehow managed to comprehend everything Coral said in her bajillion word count of expositions. Both of them floated towards the gathering players. Cali however, immediately flew very quickly towards them.

CALI: ooh! u must be grace? hi! names cali strider, u can call me cali, of course what am i saying? anyways u must be tired having to deal with our crap, maybe hungry? i mean we got cake? do you want cake? no seriously, we have cake, like couple dozens of them. it ain't a lie, i swear the cakes are not lies! haha see what i did there? digging up old memes, something most timey wimey heroes like, right? no? just my pals? oh and there's also-

Blue Dirk pressed her mute button (don't ask how, he's the one that built it). He then turns to Coral.

DIRK: Sorry, new robot suits messing her up a bit mentally, it's kinda annoying.
DIRK: Alright, lets start over.
DIRK: Of course, you know our names already cause of the whole "you messing with our narrative thing".
DIRK: So, considering that, I'm guessing you're also pulling the strings behind our remix universes? Or is there some other overpowered folk we should know about?
DIRK: Just asking to know how much you succeeding in your plot to wreck that other Waste's shit will affect my universe's alpha timeline, if that makes sense?

There is a distinct robotic tone in the way Blue Dirk said all that.

At the same time, Cernun noticed Bio appearing in the dreambubble group. Sighing, they decided to not follow him and continue speaking to them in memo.

CS: =eyy Ii seee onee of my friendss decidedd to leavee me =ere alonee.... Itss fine.... I'm nott worriedd aboutt beingg cooped up =ere open to anyy ambus= wit=outt somebody to warn me causee I'm busy lookingg afterr youu....
CS: Itss fine....
TT: Hey, your friend is basically speaking with your God.
TT: Yet you are thinking about the implications of being ambushed when really the dude can manifest whatever bad stuff you are worried about to reality?
TT: Seriously?
CS: No, Alex....
CS: Ii simply doubtt t=at suc= aa guyy is kind enoug= anyway to give us aa flipping breakk....
CS: Itss best to just.... Providee t=ee most =elp Ii cann give =ere.... Wit=outt anybodyy possibly sneaking andd snapping my neck....

We cut back briefly to Alex and the group. Alex seemed frustrated at how long it is taking to finish that damn airship that she didn't noticed whatever Malis is doing. As for Blac, she finally noticed the memo, and immediately invited Snow and Rain to join in.

---??? strivingMeans [SM] ??? from now responded to memo---

---??? showeringWill [SW] ??? from now responded to memo---

---??? sacrificialSilver [SS] ??? from now responded to memo---

SM: Heyo every people!
SS: um... hi? is this cernun and bio here?
SS: uh yeah, we are still in deep shit here and
SM: By the way yer sending all those flying pods of yers are totes cool! Thanks for all that, we needed it!
SS: ok ok, mom, thanks yous can wait, we are still stranded in a freaking undead infested planet.
SW: Bioline, ain't there a way to... You know? Send us some ships or something? That'd be great...
PYD: hEy!!
PYD: LOUCES, yOUR EffINg gOd IS 184Ck!!!
SW: Christ...
SS: ugh! what do you want?!
PYD: th4Nk ME My g4dgEtRy 4RE StILL fUNCtION4L IN thIS ShIthOLE!!!
CS: Louces????
CS: OK, firstt offf.... I'm goingg to seee w=at else Ii cann do forr youu Snow.... Butt lastly.... Louces, mayy Ii askk w=eree andd w=en t=ee =ell aree youu..?!
PYD: whERE ELSE dO yOU thINk?! LIkE I S4Id, 4 fUCkINg ShIthOLE!!
CS: W=at...?
SM: I honestly have no clue whats goin on right now.

Louces groaned as Joel does random shit in his childhood home, sure it is a nostalgia packed paradise and all, but they have progressed very little at the whole reuniting thing, specially with the memo getting even more derailed as it could.

And lastly Luis is daydreaming about romantic stuff between her and Vic, not noticing the growing Pocket behind them.

Also noticed by no one, at least as of now, the Purplish Genesis Frog growing ominously... Oh and there is also a few of Condy's battleship getting sucked in, possibly threatening her as well???

As all of this is happening, the roleplayer banged their face in their keyboard groaning in frustration in themselves for introducing a shit ton of characters, contemplating to literally jump into the shit storm themselves instead, what could possibly go wrong with that?

((No seriously, would you recommend giving Dennis some other self-insert character to interact with? Or should I just have mercy on myself?? X~X
((don't worry
((Dennis will have peeps to speak to
DENNIS: Bio! Holy fuck dude you really progressed like holy fuck. I was gonna kill ya off with that grist facto explosion but Huss screwed some stuff up. So you're cool I guess?
BIO: W£ll i+'$ ni€£ +o know i'm impor+an+.
BC: ¥o, €£rnun €an ¥ou $£nd Hal a $hip, bu++on on +h£ l£f+. +hank$.
GH: So wait who's our god again?
BC: A gu¥ nam£d D£nni$, h£ wro+£ our liv£$ ba$i€all¥.

DENNIS: Y'all are strange in person. Also hi friend in the other realm! That poor keyboard must be broken by now. Do you want me to write you in or are you good up there? *Weird notebook spinning*
(i am down with making this as stupidly convoluted as anybody wants, I'll just make it a meta plot :) :) :) )

JadedResearcher is not used to dealing with so many people in person. This has not stopped from being a thing that is true. Everybody is talking and there are SO many narrative threads floating around that it's hard to see the forest for the trees, so to speak. That's all. [Out of Sight, Out of Mind] is a fraymotif JR REALLY wishes they could cast, but who the fuck knows where Nate (or for that matter, AB and ABJ) even is. Ugh, who the fuck thought that Narrative awareness was a GOOD super power for anyone to have?

JadedResearcher: Huh. Coral. How DO you deal with being overwhelmed by the Narrative? My Seer of Void friend is pretty good at blocking my awareness of shit when it gets too much to handle, which is always. Is that just not a problem for Graces?
JadedResearcher: Fuck, wait, maybe don't answer that, I'm getting distracted. Off topic. Fuck it's hard to focus.
JadedResearcher: Fuck. Um. Okay. What are we doing, why are we doing it.
JadedResearcher: We are...saving the Waste of Space. For...revenge???
JadedResearcher: No, that doesn't sound right. We're breeding a corrupt purple frog??? God...fuck...that's probably not the goal, either.
JadedResearcher: What was it AB said? We're trying not to be bored OR irrelevant? That's probably...the closest thing to our goals. Fuck. And our Alpha Timelines. something there?
JadedResearcher: Okay, different tack: what hasn't been done? Nate wants to turn the stupid black hole that I refuse to name into a power source to invert it's destructive nature, thus saving the Afterlife. Saving the Afterlife HAS to be a priority. We can't fight Alpha Lord English, but there are plenty of doomed versions of him that have been annoying as fuck, including one of the Troll Empresses. She's probably still alive, and could be shoe horned into a satisfying final battle.
JadedResearcher: We never found John, but at this point, do we need to? We're getting exposition of a better quality than a player "on the ground" would have given us. Better vantage point.
JadedResearcher: Fuck. Did I miss anything?
DENNIS: I don't think so, JR. Maybe we forgot the people in the voidy black hole? We gotta rescue them I think? I mean, if we don't then they're probably dead forever. That includes my OCs and Free- I mean my friend's. Anyway I just wrote some bullshit excuse for HIC to live. Final boss battle incoming!
MALIS: Alex, do you anything of what is going on?
((Huh, looks like the fourth wall has been torn clean from the house. When did that happen? Well, we've got a nice breeze going now.))

Coral turns towards Cali and Dirk.

CORAL: Dude, I would fucking love some cake, and yeah, I know most of your names, I've also got a pretty decent idea of what's going on, but I wasn't the one pulling the strings, so I don't know everything, and since past Hussie was the one orchestrating that fucking mess, nothing we can do to him from this point onwards will affect your universes.

spins around to face Dennis next on her tirade of long, rambling, run-on sentences. Roxy, Dirk, and Junior can only watch from the sidelines in fascination and horror as she just keeps going without stopping for breath.

CORAL: Dennis, please don't refer to the un-inserted writers directly, it makes the characters confused and uncomfortable, nobody wants to have an existential fucking crisis right when shit is starting to get real, we need everyone to stay sane thank you very fucking much, also, the whole goddamn point of this is that bullshit reasons don't work when you're dealing with significance, and while it's easy to give something significance, it's goddamn hard to take it away again, so we were stuck dealing with this, and we can't just pull shitty excuses out of our asses like we've been doing so far.

just keeps going as she abruptly pirouettes right back over to jadedResearcher.

CORAL: Well, for one thing, I've been around a lot longer than you have, subjectively speaking of course, objectively who the fuck knows, I might have literally been born yesterday, or ectocloned, whatever, the point is, I've had a lot more time to deal with that kind of shit, and I've found it helps to remember three things, stuff doesn't stop happening because you've lost track of it, things never matter as much as you think they do, and the narrative writes you just as much as you write it, so it's best to just go with the flow and do whatever feels right, because in the end, nothing really matters.

shrugs and smiles, looking no less giddy for her pessimistic words. Time players, what the fuck even. Coral glares at some point in the middle distance. The author shuts the fuck up and kept her smartass commentary to herself. Then Coral returns to her ranting, this time addressing everyone present.

CORAL: We are doing all of the above, actually, so it looks like you haven't lost track of as much of this shit as you thought, JR, Hussie quest is my own personal vendetta, so you don't need to worry so much about that one, that shit will happen in due time, and you're right that the afterlife should probably take priority here, but before we can do anything about The Pocket, we're going to need to involve it in some convoluted fucking plot to satisfy it's significance and get rid if it for good, so we can use the purple frog, which is a thing some of you may not have known about by the way, which is growing ominously, and )(IC, who is still flopping around like the loose end she is, and by making those fucks significant, in the capital S sense of the word, we can tie them together and take out all three plot points at once.
JadedResearcher is finding it easier to focus with a more experienced meta-player helping to flesh out the narrative.

JadedResearcher: Okay. We have two Wastes and a Grace. Waste of Heart...Dennis...whatever, I'm worried about you doing so much Deus Ex Machina shit...aren't you afraid you're gonna risk all real and imaginary people stopping from giving a shit???
JadedResearcher: Whatevs...gotta focus up.
JadedResearcher: We need to do a giant finale.
JadedResearcher: We have a weird corrupt frog. We can destroy it, saving us from whatever HorrorTerror universe it was going to spawn. We can try to purify it, especially with a Waste of Heart to lay waste to its identity as "corrupt".
JadedResearcher: Huh, Dennis, you know more about that frog than I do. Would you say that it is normal sized? Or...for example, larger than two universes?
JadedResearcher: Because our narratively foreshadowed inventory is: One (1) troll empress with Non-Alpha Lord English Powers. One (1) stupid fucking black hole made of a sun the size of 2 universes collapsing, DESIGNED TO CONTAIN LORD ENGLISH POWERS. And One (1) entire fucking universe that is corrupt and weird as shit.
JadedResearcher: I'd be willing to bet there is a Math% chance that we can make something work with that.
JadedResearcher: We could evacuate the entire afterlife into the purified frog. Make it the new AfterLife. We could chuck the frog into the
Poocket (goddammit why did I SAY it) and hope it counteracts it. We could use the Troll Empress's Lord English Powers to modify the frog to be immune to the stupid fucking black hole. We could chuck the Troll Empress into the stupid fucking black hole and see if having TWO "Lord Englishes" inside it fucks it up.
JadedResearcher: We could do even stupider shit with Waste of Heart powers...swap the Troll Empress's soul with the frogs? What would that even do???
JadedResearcher: Guh...puzzle games suck when you HAVE to use all the items in your inventory. If we leave out the frog, the empress OR the stupid fucking black hole, our narrative risks falling apart, which means our ENDINGS will fall apart. People won't give a shit.
JadedResearcher: I know all the branches we can take. And I've got an idea of the rules we'd need to fudge to get to the best branches. But I don't know shit about inevitability, like Time players do. And if there is a Waste of Heart here, there's gotta be some Soul bullshit in the solution.
JadedResearcher: For non Meta players, we have a bunch of people who have proven themselves kick ass at fighting the Troll Empress and her drones. There were a bunch of Seers floating around. We have an entire Burning Bubble ™ of ghosts that seem content to be non-combatants. And all of Pink Roxy's friends that seemed pretty good at fighting before that Bubble popped... I wonder how many Space players we have to help with frog duty???

JadedResearcher is starting to panic again. Too many branches, too many possibilities.
NATE has simply been hiding in plain sight. He is the best at blending into the background. It is him.

The information given by the Grace of Time is just so useful and useless at the same time. Maybe. It's certainly interesting, but he has NO IDEA how to shoehorn himself into the plot in the right way. Unless...

NATE: Guys, I think I have an idea.

NATE: Simply put, the black hole is the End. The End of all things. And Time is concerned with endings and cycles.

NATE: The black hole might also be the beginning as well, though.

NATE: Recall this, for a second. Every universe has exactly enough size to equal a black hole of the same mass as the universe. This goes for regions of the universe too- the mass of the visible (from Earth) universe is enough to make a black hole with an event horizon the size of the visible universe.

NATE: So what if the whole multiverse is like that? Just one big clusterfuck you can't escape because it's in a literal black hole that ends up creating itself within itself again and again, in an ultimate Incestuous Möbius Multi Reach Around of the grandest scale imaginable?
DENNIS: The frog might as well be our most important item here. Cleansing it won't be easy but there are many many more possibilities. Worst case scenario is that we get stuck into a rift where we have to sacrifice something we Waste have made. But I don't want to get into that for JR's sake, because they are losing it. For now, let's let this progress. The frog is normal size for now and if we throw it into the shithole we'll only fuck things up a little more. If I transfer some power into it and then throw it in, we are most likely golden. Problem though, HIC. We gotta kill her first before we get towards the frog. And if I got this right, my Wastey bullshit combined with the Gracey bullshit from Coral can handle power directing and throwing shit into the shithole(pocket). And the afterlife thingy is very well possible, even without the HIC's corpse powering it.
What i'm trying to say is, we need to have the HIC killed, the frog not corrupted, the afterlife in the frog, and the frog in the shithole. And pow there's our finale, and then we can drink with our OCs and regret our past mistakes.
Is that good or bad?
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