Full Version: Dirk's null session support group
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TT: Well wasn't that just facilitatory as fuck, JR.
TT: As flattering as your solicitous ashen advances are, we've got more immediate shit to discus.

TT: Interesting.
TT: Lower that eyebrow, I can sense it from across the void.
TT: Okay.
TT: How are we all going to meet up again?
TT: I don't think the meow signal is going to cut it this time.
TT: We'll need something big, like R. Harley came up with for the first meet up.
TT: Anyone got a particularly powerful explosive device up their sleeve?

TT: No.
TT: Didn't think so.
TT: We need to figure this shit out first, and then we can go back to throwing theories at each other like our lives depend on it.
TT: Which they do.
CS: So Ii am mistaken aboutt c=erubss t=en...?
CS: Ii mean does no onee realizee t=at aa w=olee lott of Lordss andd Musess t=at =add fucked us up aree of t=at speciess, so basing on t=at andd t=eir antisociall nature Ii t=eorizedd SBURBB or SGRUBB conspiring againstt t=em w=ic== tendss to result in dead sessions t=at some=oww loopss andd affectss Paradoxx Spacee as well as t=ee entiretyy of t=we furt=est ring....
CS: T=en t=eree is t=eirr contacts wit= Wastes, or Graces or w=atever w=ic== endedd up giving t=em OP abilitiess before taking up t=ee name Englis== some pointt in t=eirr power trips....
CS: Or at leastt t=at wass w=at Ii assume is your spirograph of aa session's case, sincee ourr personal encounterr wit= nott onee, butt twoo c=erubss is aa really differentt story, as in it lackss anyone wit= t=ee name Englis==....
CS: TL;DR Ii t=inkk we s=ould focuss on t=ee part of t=ee narrativee w=eree c=erubss some=oww grabss =old of your game'ss copy.... Personally, Ii believee t=is is t=ee pointt w=en t=ee Wastee screwedd us over....
PUT: Good hypothesis, but I sorta think it is a stretch.
PTT: I do not know about you @PUT but, based on the coincidences our incestuous sessions have in common, it is safe to assume that yeah, cherub = the deliverers of shit to us all.
PTT: But... Yes, that does sound a bit racist.

Alex then looked at Dirk, who is standing besides her and said

ALEX: Well, I got a pretty dumb idea that I would rather not post in the memo due to sheer dumbness, but...
ALEX: How about building gigantic transportation devices?
ALEX: It sounds stupid... I know... If you are interested in following that idiotic plan of mine, call R Harley and someone proffecient in machinery like basically all the Dirks. Although, that plan is asinine anyways since I only got a few robotic parts to build it. Oh wait-

Well what do you know, just as she said that, a large part of the ruined HIC fleet finally landed a few miles near her and Strider Dirk. She looked at it in awe.

ALEX: Well, goddamn. I knew there were Gods.

AB: ...
AB: ".̤͈͇̬ͪͩ҉̤̭͈ͬͩ̅.̫̕.̤̗̲̱͙͖͚̉ͮͦ͒̚͢"
AB: ...
AB: Oh mighty creator, do I REALLY need to remind that you are already up to your God Hood in stupid quadrant shenanigans.
AB: Tsk tsk, trying to become an auspistice on TOP of being auspitized by KR? Where will you even get the time?

JR: Oh my GOD, @AB, @TT, you know god damn well that was not even a little bit ashen. Unless, @TT claims that he and @RS were about to hate make out across time and space and I stopped it. (That's a fake thing, right???) It was strictly platonic meddling.
JR: I just don't like it when people completely ignore perfectly valid decision paths. Writing off possibilities with no proof just ends up with you having more avenues for being surprised. Constant vigilance!
JR: @CS, I'm also completely down for the hypothesis that Cherubs are a key data point here. After all, Troll English was a short lived doomed copy, while Cherub English is the main event.
JR: But I do think that "Lord" might matter more than "Cherub". Lords can do what they want to the narrative (through their aspect), no matter how many real or imaginary people stop giving a shit. OP Mary Sue Bastards.
JR: BUT, to your point, Cherubs are way more likely to do single-player sessions and thus have (usually only temporarily before their death) the title of Lord (or the passive counterpart, Muse).
JR: As far as explosions go, theoretically my Cataclysm is still going on somewhen in paradox space? Might be stopped from your perspective, though. Wouldn't recommend going TOWARDS it, but maybe it can be an obvious navigation point.
JR: People can be all "I'm 3 bubbles away from the unending conflagration" or whatever.
RS: I'm just gonna say no, there is zero chance I would engage in the horizontal monster mash with Dirk, hate or otherwise.

RS: Nothing personal, just not feeling it.

RS: And you and I BOTH know that KR auspitizing between JR and good aesthetics is more of a joke than anything.

RS: Though, when JR sent KR "c3<", he DID send back Club as if he was correcting the art, which has me wondering if ash quadrants actually fucking work with metaphysical concepts.

RS: I would create a beacon of sorts, but being flashy and visible would conflict with my aspect so badly I would probably explode.

RS: And yes, I've seen so many offshoot timelines where cherubs got the discs and became Lords and Muses. No alpha where it happened though, except Caliborn of course. Also the only success.

RS: Wait. Here's an idea. EVERYONE sets themselves on fire and we all converge on a single point since we all see each other. It's foolproof.
TT: Don't worry JR, your ashen virtue is safe.
TT: There was never a threat of cross-void hate makeouts.
TT: Unless Nate has got some deep dark secrets to admit.
TT: Tell me Nate, do you have any deep dark secrets you'd like to admit to?
TT: Be careful now, I'm feeling faint. I might even swoon.
TT: Junior, put the eyebrow down.

TT: No.

Dirk snorts and minimises the pesterchum tab before this can devolve any further. He's got more important shit that's begging for his attention right now. Namely, the hunk of Condesce ship that's just crash landed a mile from them. He turns to Alex and just for a moment wonders if this coincidence might be some latent Seer of Doom bullshit. Whatever it is, he's not going to question it.

DIRK: There are gods indeed.
DIRK: It's a long shot, but let's see what we can do with those ship parts.
DIRK: I'll carry Gama, you be ready in case any functional drones landed with the ship.

With that out of the way, Dirk hoists Gama up over his shoulder and the three of them set off towards the smouldering remains of the ship.

TT: From what I saw on my unceremonious flight in, we're about two bubbles away from meteor party central.
TT: Not like it helps much since we have no reference for which direction we ended up going in.
TT: Space is to busy tying itself in pretzel knots to care to maintain cardinal directions.
As Alex flew towards the ship with Dirk Strider, fingers tapping on her non-existent strife specibus portfolio in case someone or something jumps at them she internally cringes at the thought of some shitty writer thinking of such a Deus Machina, a shitty writer indeed.

Cernun sees this through their Seer Enhancing machine and began reporting to the others.

CS: @OrangeTT andd @PurpleTT is approac=ingg aa recently cras=edd landed s=ip.... T=ey probably =ave some sort of plan, knowingg t=em at least....
PUT: @JR I disagree with basing @CS theory around the Lord class instead of the Cherub species though.
PUT: Since you know, based on the gendered class rules of SBURB, the fact that the Cherub ruining my session is a female (we call her Empress English to be exact), we can clearly assume that our version of English is not a Lord.
PUT: A Muse definitely, but still definitely a Cherub.
PUT: I'll still admit however that I am still speculative of that theory, still not entirely convinced, sorry.
CTG: btw @rs, that was cute shipping material if i've ever see one he he ~uO
Gama is slightly awake but the after effect of that power usage will give her a hangover.
GAMA: A-Are you... an angel?.. Wheeeeee.. *Trying to swing around, and also trying to get free*
HAL: *Probably dead, who knows at this point*
CYRIS: Maybe I can help you both? I am part of the game after all.
BC: Wha+ happ£n£d?? I don'+ know wha+'$ going on and i+ $u€k$.

JR: @RS, I'll have you know that JR c3< KR c3< Good Taste is written in the stars. The shitty, shitty, JPEG artifact stars. Nothing could be more serious than my burning, non-platonic hate for Good Taste.
JR: And I am offended you could imply otherwise. OFFENDED, good sir!
JR: ...
JR: This is stupid.

ABJ: Yes.

JR: But before I drop it, @CTG, which shipping material were you referring to?
JR: Back on topic, @CS, so it sounds like you were lucky enough for the meteors to either be over from your time-perspective, or to not be near the bulk of the fleet. Nice.
JR: And, @PUT, I didn't mean to imply "Lord" was the only relevant class, more the "Lord/Muse" pairing, which your "Empress English" fits.
JR: My point is...*ponder* how to phrase...
JR: Lord/Muse is STRONGLY correlated to Cherub status.
JR: And I want to tease apart whether it's "Lord/Muse" or "Cherub" that causes the most fuck ups.
JR: To do this, I'd need to find a data point of a Cherub that ISN'T a Lord/Muse, or a Lord/Muse that ISN'T a Cherub.
JR: And...if my logs aren't lying to me, didn't Formerly Alpha Roxy know a few Cherubs? One was a Dirk or something?
JR: So: One more mystery that Formerly Alpha Roxy could clear up if we find her again.
JR: What happened in Alpha? Where is Formerly Alpha John/How did he die? What were the claspects of the cherubs she knows?
PP: Kilius ]~[as a question!
PP: Actually, many!
PP: Suc]~[ gems of inquiry feature suc]~[ snippets as 'W]~[at's a C]~[erub, a Caliborn, an Englis]~[ and w]~[ere is everyone?!
PP: Kilius is in dire need of fraternisation and ]~[e's been lugging t]~[is body around!
PP: Kilius is incapable of placing somet]~[ing down in a manner t]~[at isn't in t]~[e form of a slam attack!
PP: It is a very crippling ailment!

Kilius is currently holding Hal's body up, unable to put him down unless it's in the form of an Atomic Drop.
AB: @PP, my fine master of slam poetry, the answer to your questions is 90.0419667408% compressable to the words: 'plot bullshit'.
AB: To further elucidate: Cherubs are a plot bullshit species of green skull people that aren't supposed to play SBURB. Plot Bullshit, (note the capitals) happens if they do.
AB: Caliborn is a plot bullshit final boss, who has plot bullshit powers to control plot bullshit.
AB: "'̢̛ͯ̈́ͤ͝͝͝E̴̥͙̥̳͙̳ͭ̉ͪ͐͑͜͢͏n̷̢̨̨̥̮̟̼͟g̸̨̊ͩͥ͑̓̚͠͝l̡̛͇͚̟̏ͦ̓ͫͥ̉ͫͅ҉i͔̗̿s̪͍̹̤̙̻̖̈́͋̀̿ͬ͡͞​ͮh'̴̡̰̋ į̛̬̝̖̭͂̓ͩ͗̀̌̆̕s̈́͏̀͗ͭ̃ͫ͟ h̢͍͟is̪̄͠ l̶̛̟̫͙͍ͯͭ̕à̱̯̯͟͢͜sͬ́̀͞͝͡t̨̊̿ n̴̨̦̝̯̬̮̜̅̈̃̔ͧ̚͠a̴̵̡͔̯͎̻̬̥̽̄͝҉̘̂m̶̵̵̡͕̠͆͜͢e̸҉̪͕̏͋̋,͝͏̶͎͉̲̎͌̀͡ f̴̡͕͛ͧ̍͆ͬͦor̘̼̜̍ p̲̮̩͙͂̂̿̀ͣ͗̌̂͝ļ̸̙͖̘̌̊͒͝ọ̪̦̻̹͍ͩ͋͟t̡͉ͭ̃̈́ͯ b̡̨̰͚̲̗̯̥̤̐́́̀ứ҉̜̙̆̐l̷̮̮͓̔ͭ͆̀̕͞l̻̩̾͒̒͟š̴̢̗̠͕͕̞̱̺̎͢͠ͅḥ̶̛͙̙͍̣̜͓͋́̓̕ͅi̶͍̹̮̪ͭ͆͘͡​̧t͓҉҉̵̢̼̤͎͉͕̌̎̕͘͜ (̶̵͔͖͍̉͐ͯ̒͜͡a̶̧̭̙ͤͮ͘n̠̝͡d̺͖̙̳ͪ́̀͌̑̉́͘̕ t̊i̸͍̹͚̲̪͗ͨͤ̾͗͝m̶̺҉͗̐̓e̵̫̣̫̎̽̀̍͋̕ b̴̨͍̏̋ͭ͟͡҉̶̞̻͍͜͝u͍ͩ͆͛͏͍̇̂̌l̢̯̂l̢ͫs̵̶̹͉̰̾̏̃̐͂͋͊̕͘͢ḧ́͌̊̋̋͞͏͎͘ì̠̏̌̋t͙͇̿̀ͤ̀)҉ r̸̡̯͖̤̙̪͇ͪ̄͡e̵͚̗̞͠a͏̸̼̽ͭ͆͡͠s̱͐̀̀͂̀͠ͅo̡͇̩̗̝̪̮̟͛̄̀̓̓̕n͎̱s.̵̯̳͚ͭ̈́͢҉̛ͮ͟"
AB: And everyone has been flung into separate dream bubbles for plot bullshit reasons.

JR: *I* would have phrased all that. But...uh, factually sound.
JR: @PP, we're trying to get the band back together, so to speak, but dream bubbles are hard to navigate. What did you say your Classpect was again? Prince of something? Rage? Probably no buffs to Void navigation :/
JR: Currently the best theory seems to be "set shit on fire, hope it acts as a beacon, since it did before"
JR: Speaking of, @everyone should probably contact their Hope player friends and try to get a buff to finding everybody. "Boy I hope you all solve this mystery!", says the oblivious Hope player, not even knowing that we can't even manage to find each other with two hands and a flashlight.
JR: I know people like to claim that any and every set of Aspects are each other's opposites, but I'd like it go on official record that Hope pisses me the fuck off, as a Mind player.
JR: It's all about completely ignoring possibilities just because you don't like them. Fuck that shit. >:( >:( >:(
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