Full Version: Dirk's null session support group
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CTT: So here's the update for any of you who have, understandably, lost track of whatever the fuck is going on.
CTT: We're all scattered across the furthest ring, and currently have no way of finding each other again.
CTT: The Batterwitch who can kill ghosts is alive and hunting us down as we speak.
CTT: And last but not least, there may be a fuck ton of shadow clone Dirks running around unchecked.
CTT: New theory: all the fucking logic in the multiverse is being sucked out with the false vacuum decay event.
CTT: Soon nothing is going to make any sense and we'll all just be brain dead morons.
CTT: We're all getting stupider by the minute.
CTT: I can feel it starting already.
JR: :/ @RS, you're doing the "Seer" thing again.
JR: You know, where you ramble for a while and then trail off and apparently expect us to follow your conclusions?
JR: Are you saying a Waste is in charge of our shitty plot? I mean... we already know that asshole (the Waste of Space for the newbies) has been fucking around with shit, yeah?

Meanwhile, in the Bubble with Nate, the AuthorBot is impassive. Not much is going on, so why bother doing stuff. Running around isn't going to accomplish anything. Plus, free internet in your brain means you never have to be bored.

AuthorBotJunior is zipping around the bubble, checking everything out and being a tight lipped asshole about it. She ain't reporting shit.
RS: Dirk, you're not far off. I came to that conclusion too, but discarded it in favor of another.

RS: Someone is trying to fuck this Waste of Space over.

RS: Think about it. If too much deus ex machina, Mary-Sue-ing, self-insertion, or "giant space flea from nowhere", as I think TVTropes calls it, happens, Wastes lose their powers.

RS: It's like narrative kryptonite. Wastes can do brilliant things- up to the point where everyone in any plane of existence, real or imagined, ceases to give a shit about what they do. Then their abilities stop working well.

RS: Recall, for a moment, what just happened. A First Guardian got some AI virus in it, then started randomly HUGGING AB, like a bad sci-fi movie's forced romantic subplot. Then the BATTERWITCH shows up in the Furthest Ring, where she has NO RIGHT to be, and on top of that, perfectly good "characters" are getting ignored, flung in and swiftly forgotten, loose ends waving in the wind like a tattered banner...

RS: At least from an outsider's perspective. They only SEEM shitty superficially, but Skaia ignores some kinds of narrative nuance.

RS: Something tells me that the Waste this process is targeting ain't JR.
CTT: Interesting.
CTT: God fucking damn it.
CTT: So we're essentially caught in a pissing contest between two Wastes.
CTT: Not just spanning a session or a universe, no, they need a bigger unit to measure their dicks with.
CTT: At this point they've pulled an entire fucking plane of reality into their bullshit grudge match.

"I have had it with these motherfucking Wastes in this motherfucking plane." - American modernist poet, Wallace Stevens.

You are almost certain Wallace Stevens said that.
Cali actually landed quite close with Roxy both in time and place (a few hours before to be exact), the place they are on is kinda like Dirk and Alex, a combination of both of their planets, which basically looks like steaming pyramids (that's a weird way to describe it), Cali yelped as she got a slight burn for landing on one of the heated rocks. She stood up and walked towards Roxy Harley, whom she finally saw while responding in the memo.

CTG: heya! i'm here too! ^u^

She waved at Roxy.

CTG: where's the others? last i saw them there was a big ass splosion! t'was awesome! if it didn't hurt that much... my arms still stings U_U
PUT: Cali? Roxy? Can you all confirm that they're you?
CTG: :U dirk! u ok? where r u?
PUT: Fine enough, as for my current place?

Dirk Egbert looked around, he's still injured as heck, he groaned as he held his chest, he can however, see that he ended up landing onto some dreambubble version of a familiar looking house. Aka. a house that looked very much similar to his ("Egbert-like" to be precise)

PUT: Sorry but I got no clue.
PUT: Although, based on my pesterchum handle as of now, I can guess that I was also affected by that time anomaly.
PUT: For when, I am in an undefined amounts of hours in the past.

PTT: Well bad luck for all of us then.
CTG: lex? whoah where r u? ur not injured too right?
PTT: I am with Strider D, though I have no idea how far from you all both in terms of time and space.
PTT: And no, I am fine, nothing completely out of the ordinary.
PUT: Well at least we're all a hundred percent alive, that we can celabrate.
PTT: No, no, no, no! You are not jinxing this as well D Egbert. Also, you Cali!
CTG: me?
PTT: I fucking knew it you would end up jinxing us! What did I told you before?! Right now we are in a tougher situation all cause you idiots went on celebrating before all the shit is clear, what have you got to say for yourself? Huh?!
CTG: jeez sis, alright sorry.
CTG: no early celabrations, got it U_U
PTT: Good.
PUT: Alex as much as you're pissed you really shouldn't be throwing a temper tantrum on your sister for such superstitious beliefs.
PTT: First of, it is not superstition, it is just a way to keep fate from screwing with us.
PTT: Second, yeah, you are right... Sorry Cali.
CTG: what for? its just ur normal grouchy attitude, i'm used to it ^u^

Meanwhile in the side story, while Cernun tried explaining to JR what exactly happened.

CS: T=ee explosionn must've causee disturbancee across t=ee dreambubbles....
CS: Sincee we know t=at dreambubbles t=emselves don't follow t=ee Paradoxx Spaciall ruless of Sburbb or Sgrubb or w=atever.... We cann assume t=at youu alll endedd up beingg t=rown across t=ee Furt=est Ring....
CS: Basicallyy turningg everyt=ing muc= more convuluted t=an it s=ould, nott t=at it wasn'tt alreadyy forr aa long time....
CS: Sorryy.... T=osee aree alll just from my observations.... Stufff t=at does nott confinee wit= t=ee finite ruless of actual p=ysical matter aree nott my expertisee....

Louces, surprisingly, was convinced by Bio to carry the mildly injured Malis back to the lab for healing, Louces is pissed at being ordered at but stayed silent, he's over throwing hissy fits now after all that he experienced.

As for Joel and Rain, Rain looked at Cyris sadly before saying.

RAIN: Nothing you'd be interested in.
RAIN: Lets just say, dead session stuff.
RAIN: We... Really would appreciate if you just go, look i love you but, i sort of have... Very important crap to do, if you don't mind.

Joel looked at the two briefly before looking for notes again. He's been exploring this makeshift lab for a long while, it's where a few key players of the lab session had stashed their notes regarding the nature of Sgrub, and stuff about the game, and bla bla bla. Either way, Rain and Joel are obviously hiding something, and no, it does not involve quadrant drama like their former session had.
RS: Dirk. No. I don't think this is two Wastes in a contest, that would be fucking stupid.

RS: I mean, fucking up the narrative would just hurt both of them.

RS: My theory is that the influence on the spirograph that made it fail were the results of someone or something stopping the Waste from going further, as if they saw what the Waste's actions would have led to, but they stepped in too "late", and ended up causing the problem they tried to solve.

RS: That, or LE is involved in planning all of this. Did he have any sort of thing for shitty creations or killing Wastes?
TT: I don't know about killing Wastes, but Caliborn definitely had a thing for shitty art.
TT: It's safe to say that that part of him might have carried over to his adult self, but that theory still leaves a mess of questions.
TT: Firstly, how would he have any idea the Waste of Space was orchestrating the narrative?
TT: The guy was never the hight of intelligence, and I highly doubt he could have made the same leaps of logic that we have.
TT: JR, as the resident expert on Wastes, is there any solid way to tell when a Waste has been meddling in a session?
TT: Secondly, being a Lord of Time who is always already there, English would have known he was creating a predestiny paradox and causing what he wanted to prevent.
TT: So why the fuck would he go through with it?
TT: Better to just break off that branch of the timeline altogether.
TT: He may not be the sharpest bulb in the box, but time was kind of his thing.
TT: It's not likely that he'd walk right in to a snare that fucking obvious.
TT: So no, I don't think this was all some part of Lord English's grand scheme.
TT: He may have had a part in it, but this is someone else's handiwork.
TT: My assumption that this clusterfuck is the result of two Wastes fighting it out was based on my limited knowledge of other classes beyond the fourteen available in Sburb.
TT: I'd assumed that there wasn't another class besides a Waste that could have any direct effect on the narrative.
TT: That particular ability seems far to specific to be a trait of more than one or two classes.
TT: Besides, if another Waste was trying to screw over our friendly neighborhood Waste of Space, then it wouldn't matter if the narrative got fucked up in the process.
TT: Ergo, pissing contest of the gods.
CS: T=ankfully we =add no interestingg encounters wit= t=ee classs youu call Wastes.... Alt=oug= it wass t=ee C=erubss t=at caused us tons of problems, specifically t=ee Lordss andd Musess....
CS: Mayy Ii askk if it is possible t=at t=ee fact t=at C=erubss like LE aren'tt meantt to play t=is game is t=ee reason w=yy we're experiencing tons of s=it....
CS: Nott to soundd =orribly racist.... It'ss just t=ee wayy it is wit= t=esee c=erub'ss loopingg dead sessionss....
RS: But that's EXACTLY it.

RS: If he fucked the Waste up, he would ensure his own existence by making sure the spirograph failed and careened off into the Dead Session that spawned him.

RS: This COULD be a person sabotaging the Waste to prevent damage, but failing miserably and creating the issue they set out to solve.

RS: It's a common theme throughout Paradox Space. You think you're gonna solve all of your problems, then hubris comes in outta left field and knees you in the balls with a stable time loop.

RS: OR it could be LE sabotaging the Waste to CAUSE damage, i.e. himself. Or just sabotaging the Waste for the sake of sabotaging them, possibly by killing them. Killing the Waste could have caused the spirograph to fail and create him, like a DeLorean with a dead driver going off of a cliff at 88 miles per hour back in time, sans input.

RS: Thus thoroughly Michael J. Fox-ing up reality through inaction due to author existence failure.

RS: Stop conflating two separate theories, bro.

JR: !!! *gasp* Look at all these theories we have flying around here!
JR: Lessee...
JR: @RS, you are not wrong that fucking with a narrative a Waste has a hand in weakens them. And you are especially right that this narrative firmly belongs to the Waste of Space. I've got my hand in, sure, but I'm a minor Player, at best. My Cataclysm was narratively satisfying as shit, even it it got kind of out of hand. Nobody is messing with MY power base.
JR: And @everyone, before anybody decides to wonder: I swear to AB that I am not in some kind of grudge match with the Waste and thus fucking all of reality over. Yeah, I hate the guy, but I have a long standing policy to take my maturity quests very seriously, thank you very much. Restraint is my watch word, even if it's not something that comes naturally to me. And I think future versions of me would be even better at the whole restraint dealy. And I am pretty confident no past (and thus less restrained) version of me did it either. :/ Barring kryptonite level plot twists like amnesia.
JR: @OrangeDirk , the Waste of Space DID contact Caliborn (i.e. future Lord English) though. I threw a hissy fit about it a bajillion posts ago or whatever.
JR: Basically, that asshole contacted Caliborn directly and helped him cheat at his "impossible" maturity quests. For unfathomable reasons. So Caliborn definitely knew about him. It's not unreasonable to think that Lord English would decide to get revenge for "help", if his ego says that it wasn't needed.
JR: But @RS, you're forgetting something pretty fucking critical. Graces. Can't blame you, it's not like we had any in our session/sessions.
JR: @OrangeDirk, to give you a quick rundown: Graces are the passive counterpart to Wastes. If Wastes are an explosion of fuck ups, Graces are a slow, poisonous burn. They fuck things up just as much, but it's hard to point at any one thing they did that caused it all. As such, their power is FAR less tied to satisfying narratives.
JR: Sure, two Wastes fighting over a narrative just screws over both of them. But a Grace could easily destroy a Waste's narrative without catching any backlash.
JR: So, I'd say that "Lord English" and "Unknown Grace" have pretty equally likely probabilities.

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