Full Version: Dirk's null session support group
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((Condy is basically Meenah, so I think I can pull that one off. Give me a bit though cause I just woke up. Hey la devotee!! Weba!! Good to hear from you again))
CALI: sis needs some help transportalizing to our dirk's place asap!
ALEX: Cali, let us all be calm here. Now, I need help in, like she said, getting into a lot of this ships before our friend ends up killing himself.
ALEX: And since you're here, you probably used some transportalizing device, right? If so, can I borrow it for a moment, and maybe have you provide me some backup while I save D's ass?

Roxy raised a brow, although she doesn't explicitly question what happened in the first place - she'd missed a lot, and once this was all over she wae pretty damn sure she could ask questions.

ROXY: uh sure i guess
ROXY: theres a switch on the right side but dont flick it ur gonna make it into a normal crossbow not the f wall one
ROXY: u god tiered so u can use it just fine i believe bc of that kiddie hamper sash thing
ROXY: anw hellz yeah go ahead im gonna make sure you guys r safe!
ROXY: as far as my god tier power can go anyways /:
)(IC: whale whale whale

Her Imperious Condescension
takes a menacing step towards Dirk, Hal, and Cyris. She slams her golden 2x3dentkind into the floor and it screeches as it gouges into the metal.

)(IC: look what the fisherman dragged in
)(IC: a bunch a little guppies thinkin they can sneak aboard ma ship
)(IC: thinkin they can fight me on ma own surf?

She tears her golden trident out of the ground with a screech of metal on metal and brandishes it at the intruders. A savage grin splits her face, putting her mouth full of pointed teeth on full display.

)(IC: this ought a be fin
)(IC: bring it on muthaglubbas
ROXY: !!!
ROXY: what the fuck
ROXY: what the FUCK was that?

She wheezes and says, "look alex in this mission thing i believe id want to come along and open up the best can of whoopass in existence to whoever the hell did that, whats gonna be the thing???"
The AuthorBot floats over to Roxy.
AuthorBot: Hey. You're new. Fight to your hearts content, but be aware that at some point we're all gonna have to run the fuck away from the ships so they can be destroyed by meteors.
AuthorBot: And if you need exposition, ask in the Memo. You're likely to get a fuck ton of it.
AuthorBot: H̳͚a̢͙͗ͬ́̕͘͠v̡̛̫͍̾̎̆ḙ̷̛̖̪͗́ͥ͢ f̸̧̨̥̭̹̭̦ͬ̈́̕̕u҉̨̖̥̽ͥ̋͠ṉ̘̫͖̙̪͍̯̝ͪͦ̀́̊".

The AuthorBot has given similar mini-exposition to the various other god tiers running around as well.

The the memo:

JR: Oh hey, more people in the chat.
JR: But I guess GreenGG is currently physically present as well. *checks* Yup.
JR: Bluuuuuh. It's so boring sitting on a doomsday button with no one to talk to.
JR: least now I know exactly which bubble they are in, so I can watch.
JR: : / Not exactly full of drama though, from my vantage point. Peeps are fighting, peeps are taken prisoner, and that version of the troll empress is doing shit. Huh, she's pretty cool. And damn, @PP is tearing shit up.
JR: At least the bubble seems stable. Not at risk of popping any time soon.
JR: Oh! I know! I should write a recap! That's a Waste-y thing to do, right???

-- jadedResearcher has posted recap.txt --

In no particular order because time is just not my thing:

* The Universe A set of sessions have a high mutation rate, resulting in remixing of players. Dirk Strider, Dirk Lalonde, Dirk Egbert and so on, for just about every possible iteration.
* This mutation rate is caused by a Waste of Space (who is a total ASSHOLE) modifying Universe A to have an extremely high rate of sessions bleeding into each other to create a Mobious Incestuous Session Reach Around or whatever I chose to call it. Each session in some way effects it's child session (even between scratches), until the last session in the chain spawns the first session in the chain, but mutated, causing a spirograph of sessions. In the alpha timeline, this is exemplified by the 4 player human sessions scratching, but surviving to travel in the furthest rings to physically join their guardian's session. The Waste of Space enabled that bullshit.
* At the end of this spirograph, is the Alpha Lord English, a cherub with unconditional immortality, the power to Double Kill ghosts, and destroy space time. He can only die at one point in time, and we aren't part of that process.
* The Alpha timeline of Universe A is really weird, having a John Egbert in it with OP as fuck powers.
* Everyone met up in a burning dream bubble, and agreed to go look into what is going on in the Alpha Timeline, and with the John Egbert who is OP.
* It was established that while none of us can interact with the alpha timeline, we CAN interact with two players who USED to be a part of it. When the John Egbert and Roxy Lalonde from OrangeDirk's timeline got OP powers and went to the alpha timeline, the versions of them there were marked as doomed and unceremoniously killed off.
*PinkRoxy in the current dream bubble is the formerly Alpha Roxy. We hope she can give us details on what is going on in the Alpha timeline, and maybe even what is going on with the new John and Roxy.
* We also hope she can help us find the formerly Alpha John Egbert to ask him similar questsions.
* Apparently a troll empress (from which session???) is going around claiming to have Lord English powers and has been threatening PinkRoxy's ghost friends. We are currently fighting her (Troll Empress that is, not PinkRoxy). I have meteors ready to bombard the ship once everybody is clear (but it looks like that'll be awhile 'cause of shenanigans).
* There are some AIs running around that have first guardian powers and who are agents of Skaia (and apparently kill hackers???). OrangeDirk's shades interacted badly with one which caused all sorts of bullshit (like glitching out the AuthorBot RIGHT AFTER I FUCKING FIXED HER), but also cool shit, like revealing Lil Hal Junior in OrangeDirk's shades and resulting in him getting a body.
*Lil Hal Junior seems to be some kind of new dream-AI thing. He isn't restricted to just 3 words anymore, and is slowly acquiring vocabulary. He figured out he can copy pasta words in the Memo to communicate better.
* Oh yeah. I'm a Waste of Mind, which is a class from an older/newer version of SBURB. As such, I can join Memos and shit, but don't want to risk fucking shit up by being physicaly present. So I'm strictly support.
NATE: Okay, let's do this shit!

[Shadow Boxing Your Dark Side]

Huh. Several clones showed up but... they're insubstantial. This shocks everyone. We are all shocked by this stunning revelation. They're punching robots, passing through them, and looking back like WTF.


NATE: Well. Shit.

NATE: They aren't entirely REAL???
Alex nodded, before looking at Cali and then Roxy.

ALEX: Good, anyone whom wants to jump in quite literally may do so.
ALEX: Except maybe you Cali, we really cannot risk another non godtiered player to go flying off recklessly towards hell like D did.
CALI: aww... U_U
CALI: well alright, as much as i'd like to help u guys probs won't need someone screwing up like i always do.
ALEX: No, Cali not that. You misunderstand.
CALI: ye right...
ALEX: Listen, I just do not want you dying again, do you hear?
ALEX: Now, Harley can we go now?

She looked at Roxy Harley expectantly for her to fire that crossbow.

As for Dirk he calmly took a step towards Condy, arms still outstretched in a "let us all chill" position. Surprisingly, despite all the shaking he's pretty calmly balancing himself into his slow stride towards her.

DIRK: Now, Your Majesty, I know I'm merely a human mortal that's not even godtiered with no hope of beating you in a one on one duel.
DIRK: However, from what I am seeing from outside, with all the ghosts bombarding your prized warship, it is safe to assume that your shit has gone completely pear shaped.
DIRK: There's no denying you're screwed.
DIRK: So while I literally cannot put a dent on you, I must say that right after my other self ended up figuring out your bullshit, we thought that as powerful you are, you are still pretty much as mortal as any of us.
DIRK: What I'm getting at is, instead of dying after billions of pissed off ghosts murder your ass, we could you know try to find an arrangement.
DIRK: Like maybe putting down our damn weapons and dealing with this as peacefully as we can, can't we?

In this very tense situation, Dirk Egbert tries to do what he does best, convincing people to fucking listen. A sweat drops from his forehead as he hopes he won't get forked to double death then and there.
(finally done editing my recap, btw)
Lil Hal Junior zips over to where Roxy, Alex, Cali, and AuthorBot have gathered. He opens his mouth to speak, but then thinks better of it. Unfortunately, his external speaker system is still stuck a full volume, so instead of destroying their eardrums he opts to pester them in the memo.

TT: attention
TT: Bio and Blue are currently aboard the one of the ships.
TT: Hal
TT: and
TT: Cyris
TT: too
TT: Redirecting meteors is the best fucking idea ever.
TT: Once. You know. Everybody clears the fuck out of the blast zone.
TT: I have a corrupted session's meteors all queued up and everything.
TT: go rescue the damsel n
TT: then ill
TT: giving the signal

Meanwhile, in a transtimeline prsterchum conversation:

-- golgothasTerror [GT] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at ??:?? --

GT: Dirk miss Harley just woke up and suddenly took off!
TT: Don't worry, she's with us.
GT: Well that's darn good to hear! I was worried shed gone off and gotten lost somewhere in the void!
TT: I'd love to chat, but we're kind of busy here Jake.
GT: Whats going on out there?
TT: The short version is Sea Hitler is a bitch in all her iterations, and fraymotifs suck.
GT: Well geeze! I hope everything works out for you guys.
TT: Thanks Jake.
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