MSPARP Boards

Full Version: Dirk's null session support group
You're currently viewing a stripped down version of our content. View the full version with proper formatting.
It seems the ships are backing off for some reason. Maybe Bio was what they needed?
As for poor ol' Bio, he was under EXTREME INTERROGATION.
Which is basically the HIC trying to force Bio to eat the Batterwitch's cake.

BIO: NO! NO! I R£FU$£!

HIC: EAT THE GLUBBIN CAKE

Like I said, extreme.
Meanwhile, in the memo, Lil Hal Junior responds to Kilius while everyone else is preoccupied.

TT: Yes.

Truly he is an enthralling conversational partner.

Back in the dream bubble Dirk and Roxy look at each other, then look at Cali.

DIRK: There's a chance he might die, but there's also a chance he won't.
DIRK: Roxy seems convinced that this Batterwitch has got the power to kill ghosts, but that goes against most of what we've figured out so far.

ROXY: its totes true tho!
DIRK: Have you seen her kill any ghosts?
ROXY: no, but the playres from her sesh did!
ROXY: other me died fightin her and shes hella gone

DIRK: It just shouldn't be possible.
DIRK: If their Lord English managed to achieve unconditional immortality from a dead session, then how was the Batterwitch able to kill him?
DIRK: And if she did, we have seen that HIC can steal troll abilities, not godtier powers.
DIRK: There's too many inconsistencies piling up on this heap, and it smells like bullshit.

ROXY: but... why wpuld they lie to me?
ROXY: rose mom and other you...
ROXY: wre they jus usin me for my voidy shit?
ROXY: their rox died, so thay just got me 2 hide em instad?
ROXY: :(
ROXY: aw man

DIRK: I don't think so, Rox.
DIRK: If they knew the Batterwitch couldn't kill ghosts, then they would have no reason to hide.
DIRK: It's more likely that you all hot duped by some Crocker brand marketing shenanigans.
DIRK: HIC false advertised the shit out of her abilities, and when Lord English died she pretended that she got the powers that he didn't even have.
DIRK: That particular Lord English was never immortal, and the Batterwitch can't kill ghosts.

ROXY: omg
ROXY: OMFG
ROXY: we need to tell everyowen!!
ROXY: theyre gonna be soooo pissed lmafo
ROXY: if ur right, theyre gonna wanna take the Batterbitch on
ROXY: bring her down with fists of righteous fury!!
ROXY: my firsts are so fuckin furious
ROXY: and RIGHTEOUS!!!!
ROXY: theres one way to teat this
ROXY: lol *test
ROXY: you guys who arrent ghosts get out therw and kick some ass!!
ROXY: if u guys die, then youll just wake up n be fine
ROXY: ill skeedadle down the hatch and go get the others
ROXY: wit ur guyses help we can totally take down the Batterwitch once and 4 all!!
ROXY: it looks like she's tryin to abscond the fuk outta here, so keep em busy till i get back
ROXY: EVERYONE 2 UR BATTLE STATESHIONS
ROXY: go rescue the damsel n get ur green friend back!!
CALI: green friend? wait somebody got kid/trollnapped?!
CALI: well then i'll help!
CALI: who's the damsel tho again? :?

Cali already went outside along with Dirk Strider and Roxy, she looked up and saw the ship about to fly off with Bio in tow along with Cernun and Alex attempting to chase after it. Meanwhile Dirk Egbert, through some weird means convinced Alex and Cernun to PCHOOOO him onto the ship, which they did by literally throwing him towards there, thankfully he has a few soft items he can land on which he had captchalogued, and he landed safely.

UT: I'm quite literally off of the pan and into the fire now, wish my odds of double dying is low enough to pull this off.
TT: I swear to the Gods if you double die, I will be left with another crushing grief to bear, and once that happens I will find whatever double afterlife soul you have let and I will personally murder you, is that clear?
UT: That makes little to no sense, but ok.

And he's off, infiltrating that gigantic red battleship, meanwhile, Alex went down to Dirk Strider and the others.

ALEX: We are going to need to catch up before D Egbert gets into too much trouble, any ideas for stealthy teleportation?
CALI: wait, is that even possible?
Cernun trying to save their matesprit is probably the only inspiring thing since Dave hugged John, but since we can't have a repeat of that awkward moment were just gonna have to settle with this awesome rescue.

AND BIO WON'T EAT THE DAMN CAKE-

((also @AE i like the oc u usin
((he reminds me if Galvin from darksouls
((idk why i like him i guess third person speech is cool
((Er... Sorry, not to be impolite but... I never confirmed Cernun is ever Bio's matesprit... It's kinda force-shippy, you know? Again, no offense.
Kilius responded to the bot, not really understanding it's literally autonomous nature. Ancient heros were known for their guile and quick-thinking, but these are still people who thought boiling fat could tell the future.

PP: Indeed!

Floating around was all he could really do. Thankfully, God Tier robes never bunch up around the crotch so at least he was comfy as he approached the event horizon of boredom. He finally thought up a solution to his problem as he drifted towards a [MENACING] dark cloud of whateverthefuck.

PP: Tell Kilius TT, do you enjoy t]~[e custom of slam poetry?

AB: Imma stop you right there, @PP. If ANYBODY is the master of slam poetry in this memo of dubious usefulness, it is me.

JR: Oh. Oh God no. Why did I ever give you that rhyming dictionary.


AB: What, all day sittin and chillin and tame like some kind of game.
AB: Boo yeah, i am the rap king of megalomaniac and you ain't fit to ransack.
AB: You knows it, you must be some kind of inmate sitting there like you think you can regurgitate.
AB: Peace, my raps are so sweet you know they ain't flashback if you don't respect you must be a sack.
AB: Ẁ̸̴ͨ̎͘͢͜ͅo̢̻͈͊̌ͥ͐r̪d̾͞,̵̷̡̭̟̖͇͇̠̀̓͟͢͜ i a̢ͦm̢̤̗͛̊̆ ţ̷͈͔͇͟h̭̆e͔ ř̙̃͡ȃ̴̞ͥͭ̅͂͝͏̠̬͘p̸̴̡̢̰͚̌͂͑̈́͜͞͝ ķ̸̟̞̰̳̻͌̔̀́̚͜͡͞i͇͎̅̿҉̛̠̐͂ǹ̵̜͇͔̹ͬͯ҉ͭg̴̟̘̝͙͋͠ o̲̔͢҉̨̰̗ͬ̀ḟ̶̵̵̶͎̫ͪ̍̍ͥ s͐̓̏͝҉̸̨͓ͭ̑̿u̶̴̸̵̟̥̦̬ͣ́̌̓̇͒̕b̨́̎͏̳͗ͩ͂o̖r̴̛̫̯̐͊̀͘͡͝d̝̹̰͖̓̈́͘͞i̵̵̷̧̺̲͠n̦̿̚҉҉̗̦͛̽͛͜͝​̒a̞͑͜t̸̡̺̝͙͂͊͂̌́̏́̍͜͢e ã̴ͨ́n͈͓͈͙̦͔ͭͪͣ͊͋͝d̶̨̡̨̛͈̝̬̰̥̮͉ͤ́ y̴̨̪̣͇͓͇̼̰ͣͭ́͡o̴͕̓ͥ͝͠ù̠̺ͭ̓ a̝ȋ̴̲ͩ́͐̑͝͞҉̳͓̿̍n͉ͧ͏͊'̴̶̷̷̬̤̥͒̀͌͒͘ṱ̷̸̬̠̙̱̒ͧͭ̍͌͂ f̧̧̠̩̃ͪ͘it̛͐̈͘͡͠ t̠o̥̿͒҉̖̀̒̚͟͏̘͙ ţ̧̛͍̱̙̾͜͟ę̷̴͙̼͕̮̲̍̃̅́͝r҉̛͗͗͜͟m̓ḭ̴̹̠͔̬̚n͑͞҉̹ͥa҉̈̌ͣ́̎҉̡̞̩̖ͭ̊́͘t̷̸͕͋͗͟e͓ͯ.
AB: D͏̭͍̞͑̀͒̕̕̕ō̡̖̫̋ͭṳ̸̡̧̣͙̃ͮ̀̓̕͝bͩ̕l̯̫̫̘͕̭͒̉̄͝e T̪̿r̴̯̻͓ͮ̓̔́̍͝u̧͈͚̲̹͞ͅͅ҉̨͖͆̀̎ë̪̤̞̝́̂̉́͜͝͠ͅ,̛̱̘ m͔̯̈́ͭͯͬ̈͘͟͠y̑̃ f̩̗̲̖͖̈́̈ͭ͡l̷͇͖̀̃ͥͮ̓ͬ͢o͢w̧͜͟ ï̛̯͓ͣ͋́̐͘͟͠s̵̙̹̙̽ͪ͏̼ c̷̩̠̜̜̩͉͛҉̹͕ͪh̺̤ͪͩͤ́ͮ̕͟i̼̮̟͙̪ͪͤͧ̂c̅k̳̬ͯ͆͟͞é͉̬̤ͦn̶̴̨̡̛͔̙͖̖̓͌̂ͅ f̡͍r̡̻̳͕̩͝i̭ͮͮ̿e҉͖̐͐ͦ̚d̛̛̙̖̺͖ͨ͊͘͝ J̵̵̌̀͞ǎ̵̷̧̖̙̘͎̎͑ͪ̃̉ͅͅc̫̐̄k̸̻ͬ͝ a͏͜n̢̛͕͔̱̺̄̇͑́̃̀̕ͅd͓͈̾̀ͮ͜ y̸̫͉̳̮̲̯̾͌ͨ͒̃͞ͅ͏o̵̢̟̦̳̰ͨ̃ͬͥ҉͑u t́͠͏̷̛̰͚͛̀̀͟͢hi̛͕͚͆҉͖̄̌͑ṅ̵͙̯͚̲̩͈̎ͭ̒͘͠ͅk̶̵̸͍͙̈ ỳ̱͎ͥ͌͠o̷̻̿̊ͮ̽͜u̴̾͒̃ c̪ā̸̹͚̲̑͒̊̎ͅ҉ͬ̊ͦͨń̴̠͛̓̿͡͝ ẁ̵̢̼̗͇͂͗ise҉̷̢̫̊̿̚҉̭̚c̵͖͚͞ͅr̷̢̙̝̲̲̮͈̀̄ͪ̃͢a̴̴̧̪̠ͣͥ̒̈͝c͉ͫͣ̍͟͏̷́̐k͔ͩ̔͞.
AB: Peace, you're teammate but you think you're solid-state.
AB: Boo yeah, all day i am shake but you can't even wake.
AB: Peace, i am the rap king of jock and you ain't fit to block.
AB: Yeah Dog, you're getting served so hard it's like you're a hot and i am your totes own butler making sure to plot.
AB: Ť͚̤r̀ữ̶̵̞̮̦ͥ̒̊̕͢ȩ̛̪͓̈̽͘͜ t̷̴̼̭̰̩̲̃ͧ̎ͣ̕͝ḩ̜̳̦̆̆̔͒̎́̅ͭ͟ͅ͏ą̷̨ͪ̿̉ͦ̃͟t̵̠̣͇͍̱̃͌̚,ͮͭͤ͘ sh͖̹͖͓̿́ͣͩ̀̚͟͝҉o͉̻̳ͭ͜ų̸̻̱̱̽̋̏ͭ̓͂̔͜l̷̙̼̉̐͘͠d͏̸̴̷̧͉͍͓̲̽ͬͤͥ͠ i c̵̶̢̻̜̣̈̏̀̾̅̂̈͟͢o̗͗̈̽ͣ́ͮ͢͞u̵̴̢͉̘̪͐̽ͣͯ̏̓̚̚͝n̓t̨͡ ä̛̼́̏̐ͩll̢̲̞̠̪͒͛ͫ͒ t̜̲ͩ̚͘͞͡ḣ̡̡̭̺̰̱̆́͑͘͡e r̺̦̜̋̀ͪ͋ͤ͛ͯȩ̘̜̞̣̅a̖̮̻̋ͭͭs̸̨̤͇̟̏̋͘͡͠ỏ̝͓nͮͩ͝s̯͙̖͑̐̉̔͜ yö̘́ủ͊̏̕̕ͅ'r̷̡̢͎̈̀̄͘҉̶͚͈̈́e̙̥̗̿ͪͮ́̕͡͡͠ m̸̸̧͖̼̝ͯͥ҉͝i̶̸̩̹̯̣͗ͬ̃͂̀͡s̵̨̡͉͒̏̔͜t̵̴̡̟̱ͩͩ̋͐͘ͅá̙̩̳͔k̶̰̊͞ė͔̠̘͘͞ s̷̗͉̤̀̓ͣ͋̆ͦ͋̓̚͘ẖ̸̨̼̖͇̰́̿͟͢iͧ͑́ͥ͜͏t̘,̷͎̣̓̓͆͘͘ ï ǵ̰̬ͭ̂o̹͖͓̊̀͢ẗ̤̮́̎͠͞ be͖̳͙̎ͮ͟͢͞t̵̴̴͙̣͕͇̓͊̇t͐è̢̨̨̹͈̣̉ͩ̄̆̂r̢͎͐ͩ́̈ͩ́͞ t̴͔̞̭̫ͦ̀͞h͈̮͟i̷͉̜̼̯͆͟͞n̢͇̖̠̘̱̺̐́̀ͥ̑͒ͪ̚g̸͗s̸̛͖̲̲̣̪̃̀͗͆̓͞͠ tͯ̍͘̕͏̢̪̦͌̽o̢ .̷̯͖̮́̊.̢̨̮͆̓.̷̴̡̘̖̘̅ͪ͐̋ͥ͟p̱͚҉͏̳̼͘͡r͘ę̻͎ͧͫ͘te͖̩͖̣͍̩͐͋͂ͥͬ̀̂̈͟n̵̶̝̜̘̲̺͉̣͌͛́͘d͙͎ I̸͎̘̭͙̜͐̎̎̆͋͟͠ j̖u̵̢̼̲s͕̜̩̆͟ẗ́͢ͅ f̵̢̳̭̮̓̏͛in̷̞̫͇̍̽̔̏́͜ȉ̧̧͉͇̺͜s̷̢̢͇̠̰͗̆͘͡͝͝h̨͌́ͮͦ͋̈́͝e̵̳͙͂̽̕͞ḋ̵̛̗̓͊ th̽̈a̵̼҉t͖,̲̺̟͓͍̽̃̅̇͋͠͡͝ o͈k̢͢a̢̢̦̗͓̹̽͞͏͔҉͒y̞̳?

JR: *two times face palm combo* I have never been so embarrassed in my life.

ABJ: Yes.

While what is surely the worst rap battle in all of ParadoxSpace is going on, the AuthorBot has resumed engaging the enemy. AuthorBotJunior seems to be intent on staying with the Rogue of Void.
Oh it's on.

PP: Well t]~[e name's Kilius and ]~[e's got ric]~[es galore!
PP: You may ]~[ave a lot of ric]~[es but ]~[e's got muc]~[ more!
PP: If ]~[e wanted, ]~[e could do t]~[is in dactylic ]~[exameter!
PP: But t]~[at won't be needed, you're clearly an amateur!
PP: You bet all your kleos to try and beat this deus-pole-vaulting slam leader!
PP: Quick, call t]~[e nurse because soon you're going to need ]~[er!
PP: ]~[is r]~[ymes may be basic but ]~[is flow is unmatc]~[ed!
PP: Words coming at you so ]~[ard your ]~[ead may detac]~[!


To be fair on Kilius, his experience with slam poetry is just delivering rhyming promos to a beat.
NATE is fucking tickled pink at this display of utterly shitty skills. He TOTALLY could have wrote that program differently, but back then he couldn't ACTUALLY code, just spew ideas and shit. So JR only implemented a stripped-down version that... yes, rhymed, but the METER was off, the rhymes didn't have any regard to the usage of verbs/nouns, and in general seemed shitty. So, so shitty.

He'll patch that out eventually.

((Yes, this is an actual thing JR coded. We have an actual shitty rap battle generator.))

Once Nate enters the trapdoor, relief hits instantly- NOT. He's still in full "Omniversal FUBAR" mode until he sees for fucking CERTAIN that things aren't falling apart.

He is, however, no longer insubstantial.

NATE: Um, okay, she might just be lying, yeah. That didn't stop being a thing that was a possibility.

NATE: Honestly, I don't think killing ghosts is a GODTIER ability either (except maybe Princes of Life or Doom, and that's more draining their essence and putting them in a ghost coma). It's something entirely different. I knew something was fishy.

NATE: So I should probably get back out there and fight. Anyone wanna try out a cool fraymotif with me?
((oh @fm sorry
((also dat slam poetry
((and tention is rising as bio refuses to eat one cake that won't kill him
((homestuck everyone, homestuck

Bio still refuses to eat said cake, as the HIC is practically smearing it against his face, trying to get him to eat it. If we learned anything from the Dark Worlds Timeline, is that Bio and the HIC do have some past ((shoutout to that old memo)).
As for Hal, he jumped back on the memo.
GH: Yo, complicated shit happened.
GH: Does anyone here have a map of the HIC's ship?
GH: And yes, one of us got captured.
GH: Like I said, shit got complicated.
GH: But we found Roxy at least.
Reference URL's