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JR: @RS, I don't mean try to fix the void. I mean...fix...everything else. Like, may as well try to make things as good as possible before the end, right? And if I fuck shit up, well, still better than a true Game Over, right?


In the Afterlife, the AuthorBot and AuthorBotJunior are impassive.

AuthorBot: "Ỵ̶̢̢͎̞ͤ̉̀̈e̋ḁ̖ͨͧh͎͒,̀͟ ỷ̫̱̓͠͏̖̘͚̭̀͗̍ͬ͝o͂͢͜u̟ g̵̶̛̰̹ͫ̃͘͘u̡̺ͪy̵̵̮͈̻̎́͆̾ͪ̀͗̏s̶͕̝̦̺̘͓͛͡ͅ h̸̦͉͛̈́ͭͩ̕a̸̧̡̡̢̯̲͓ͪ̾̊̀̔̑͜v̢͙̜͎͇͉͕̲ͬ̓̆̃̽͞ê̸̢̨͗ͫ͟͞͡ f̧̢ͭͫ̿͂̏̽ͯͧ͠͞͞u̢̧̯̦̙͐҉̧͒͊ͪ͠nͦ̕͡ w͑i̦̘̲̎ͭ͝͞t̴̩̫̫̘̩͑̆͟͢h҉̟̩́ t̢͉̳̩ͨͤͯ̀̓҉̠̫͒̋ͯh̷̩̣̗̾͆ͭ̀̂ͮ̓̆̀̆̚á̸t̶̠̍.̲͔ͪͭ̒͂̒ͨ̐̀̕͢ Ȉ̵̡̛͇͡͞ d̛̜͚͊̏͡͏͚̓̄ô̙҉n̵̝͎̤̏̑ͯ̂ͩ̀'̡̪̭̺t̋͂ͬ͢ t̲͙̞̤̬̯̓͢͞͏͜a̢̩̬̫̩ͧ̒͂̅ͮ̀͡͠͠l̨̻̮̤͡kͨ t̢̘͇̎͌ͬỏ̫̦̬̌̅ d̵̢̢̛̘̒̈̊̃̐ę҉̤̯̙͋ͮ̑͂ͧ͞a̮d̶̤̭ͬ͏̼̪͠҉̡̢̛̠͓ pȩ̻̥̰ͥ̀͏̡̦͚̯͂̉͊ơ̶̧̫͖̖̽̑͟p̜҉l̸̶͉̤ͣ́ͬ̚̕͟͟e̢̢͜҉̡̄.̷̡͎̹̭ͥ̅͗̅̅͊҉̏́͞ N͏̴̴̡̥ͤ͡҉̲͓̭̌͜͜͞ą̺̮͐̏̓m̵̡̨̥͇̲̼͔̃̂͘̕ĕ̶͕̤̬̲̤͉ͤͭͬ̎,̵̧̧͎͙̣̮̬ ť͈ͪ̏͆ͤͥ̕͜͞ì͚͓̞̹̌̈̈͘̕͜͝tͥ̒ͫ̚͞͝l̸̹͈ͨ͜҉̷̛̩̆̽͞e̾ ą̸̷̻̏͒̌͜͜͏n̛̬͚ͪ̐d̦̺͚̱͚ͫ̿̎̈́̓͐͊͠͠ c̛͙͗̒̂̉ͫͪ̒a̸̵̵̢̭͓̪ͤͫ͊̏ͫu̴̶͂͢͝s̙̠̓eͤ ǫ̖͚̒ͮf̝ͨ̇͡ d͎̩̃͝ḙ̶͕̔ͦ͐͏̡̩́͢a̡̧͕̽̒ͤͥ͂t̷̰̟̯̪̱̱̫́̓̆͆̆ḩ i̼ͥ͟s̗͗̊ͅ a̧̫̩͇̓ͪͭ͛̐̀͟͟ll̟̾̄̌͠ I̯ nȩ̸̼͈ͮ̾̌͗͜e̴̦̤̒ͮ͢͝͝͞ḏ̎͝҉̹͏̙̽͘͟ ǫ̫̦̹̕u̴͞t͉̦̕ṱ̶̸ͧa̩ t̶̘̖́ͩ͘͠ḩ̴ͩ̿ͫ͢ȩ̪̘̳̃ͯ͘̕m̘͞҉̧̞̮̳̭̖͑͞͠͠.͏̺̦́̿̀ "
AuthorBot: Like. I get it. It sucks they're dead, and it double sucks that their friends are double dead.
AuthorBot: But there's nothing I can do about it. So why bother.
AuthorBot: Ả̤͈͋̋̀n̴̴̢̧͖̩̜͇͖̒͢d͍̙̥̉̕ I̥͎͇͘ ę̴̔͢ś͈̄ͥ͏̼͑p͗҉͖͉̙̯ͩ̃́ͭͮͧ̃̆ͅe̵͖͈͖̗͚̯͉̝̅̕͡͡ci̸̶̱̭̫͂ͩ͘ā̵̖͙̳͚̤͐͋͡ͅļ̷̖͚̯͓̗̄̚l̶̥̻͋​̝̣̉ͥ͛́̒͂͢͟ỳ̷͉̼̯̣̃̄̌͟͞ d̠ͅ͏̦ͧ͝ő̸̹̦̭̀̐̆͘̕nͫͪ͢'ͧͬͨͫ̀͗͜t̶̢̡͓̯̏̔̃̿͐͘͟ ẁ̡̝̽͝ā̷̧̨͖͛̆̂͆͘҉̆͗ͭn̺̜̥̲̼̅ͮ̂̾̒t͗͑ ț͏̴̗̬͚̘̊͝ő̫̦͎ͩ͋̐͟͢͜͜҉͚́ r̴͗͏̷̴̴̢̲̬̀ͪ̕i̬͖̲ṣ̸͚̲̗̱̔̊̑̓͟͠k r̡̺͙͖̟̺̹̮̤̠̿͋́͡ͅu͈̫̕n̡̟͕̽̀̈́n̨͎̣̟̫ͦ̋̅̌ͪ͘͟͞ī̥̣̺̖̆ͅn̴ĝ̘̂̿͏̭͖̱̊̓́͠ i̶̹̥͙͎͑̆̔̾̅̉̀ͦ͡n̹͍̗ͨţ̖̻̆̿͘͝҉̗̲o̖͛ͫ ţ̢̘̹͓̐̀̎̑̿̆͌͋͘͝h̙̄̀͟͏҉ȩ̼̱̙̜̽ͯ 0̨̨̥͔͚͒̾̀ͤͣ͜.̨̢̢̣̤̦̰̪͊͐̏ͬ͢ͅ4̸͏̸̷̴̧͖͕̟̘ͤ̾̀͜1̰͏̠̱̥͗̑̒͢3̻̠͚̊́%̢́́̃ ō̡̫̈́͆͟͟͝f̢̼ͨ͠͝ͅ g̵̸̯̦̤̱͋̈ͬ̃͟h͌̉͛́ǒ҉̧͓̊͢ś̵̡̲͔̟̹ͧͦͧt̥ͪ̚s̟͘͠ t̸̥͛͞h̸͗a̞͓̻ͦͯ̍̇̇͞t͡ ā̢̜͏̸̫̯ͩͩͣ̆̈ͤ͡r̶̵̨̩̲̼̳̦̙ͩ̊̊͟͜e̷̶̸̡̲͐́̑͠ h̪̮ę̫͊r̺͓͘͜҉͊̆ě̪̮͑͌̓ͧ̇̎͘͞͝ b̈́e̎͘͜ͅc̡a̡̎ͭ̀̎̀͟͜ù̶̢̖̮̜́͜ͅs̨̫͎͍̥̞̜ͪ̀̇̕ͅe̶̟̩̻ ò̷̴̗̪̞͇̥̌͜͝f͖͊̆ͪͬ̐͘ m̴͔̌̋̀̚͝e̤̻̟̅̄ͣ͠ à̳̄n͎d̸͍̣̟͊ J̧̘̙̼̘̩̜ͣͪ͋̉̋͢R̢̯̯̜̀ͤͨ.̪͕̺͉̫́͗ͣ̒͊̋̀ͣ
MB:OK $o
MB:$nugg1e$ ha$ |3rought me to $ome $ort of temp1e
MB:And then he ju$t kinda dropped me off at the |3a$e of it
RS: Well, I think I'll try talking to this guy.

Nate walks up to the ghost of SOLLUX CAPTOR. SOLLUX, as one may have surmised, is super fucking dead right now, as he is wont to be.

SOLLUX: excuse me, wh0 the fuck are y0u.

SOLLUX: if y0u're here f0r the suicide missi0n, it's a bit late f0r that.


NATE: Actually, we're here to find a specific dead person WAAAAY far away, a doomed John and Roxy. From the Alpha.

SOLLUX: that seems like an easy j0b, g00d luck with that.

SOLLUX: n0w please fuck 0ff. i'm trying n0t to d0uble die, because i think i've had en0ugh death t0 last a while, and sitting here like a m0r0n talking t0 pe0ple isn't g0ing t0 help.

SOLLUX: and h0nestly i have n0 stake in this, s0 if y0u let me leave t0 dr0wn 0ut the crushing s0rr0w 0f watching every0ne die h0rribly by drinking shitty energy drinks and instant crushed bean juice, that w0uld be fucking amazing. thanks.

SOLLUX leaves, the number of fucks he has left remaining the same between the start of the conversation and the end, seeing as he gave none of them in the period between.

SOLLUX GIVES NO FUCKS RIGHT NOW.

NATE: Well. Someone's bitchy today.

((My Sollux skills are flaming garbage but, ehh, whatever.))
((If you want me to play a specific character to interact with yours then let me know. I might not be the best at them, but I'll give any character a try. If you don't have a preference then I can just throw someone I'm good at at you.))

DIRK: You're Kanaya, right?
KANAYA: Yes That Would Be Me
KANAYA: However I Dont Believe Weve Met

DIRK: I'm Dirk, I talked to you once, another you.
KANAYA: Well Then Dirk
KANAYA: I Hate To Be Rude But I Think I Would Rather Not Talk Right Now
KANAYA: Things Have Not Been Quite So Fortuitously Recently
KANAYA: This Would Make For A Lousy Second Conversation Anyways
KANAYA: Please Excuse Me

Kanaya
steps back into the crowd and disappears among the mass of shifting bodies. Dirk and Lil Hal Junior watch her go and don't try to stop her. Clearly the troll girl needs some time alone. However, it's not long before another troll notices the living people and breaks from the flow of the crowd stop in front of them.

DAMARA: 今日は。
DIRK: Oh, wait I got this.
DIRK: こんにちは。

DAMARA: あなたは私の言葉を話す? あなたは誰?
DIRK: 私は少し話す。
DIRK: 私の名前はダークです。
DIRK: 何
DIRK: No, that's not right.
DIRK: 誰。。。
DIRK: Fuck.


A series of small synthesized chirping sounds come from Junior and he clutches at his sides. Dirk glares at him and the chirping gets louder.

DIRK: Stop laughing at me you little jerk.
DIRK: I know you've got a built in translator because I put it there.
DIRK: So quit it and help me out here.

LIL HAL JUNIOR: Hmm.

Lil Hal Junior taps his finger against his chin in contemplation before shaking his head with a grin. Dirk opens his mouth to say something else, but stops when Damara starts laughing as well.

DAMARA: YOU FUNNY. SMALL ROBOT MAKE ME LAUGH.
DIRK: Oh, you speak English.
DAMARA: YES. MY ENGLISH VERY GOOD.
DIRK: Well that makes this a whole lot easier.
LIL HAL JUNIOR: Yes.
Ah! A person who isn't gonna blow him off if he tries to talk to them! Nate strolls on over to join the conversation. Fucking finally.

NATE: Hey. You there. Quick question- where the fuck is everyone going, and who around here is from a formerly alpha timeline? Kinda in a rush here.

NATE: Like, a huge rush. We gotta figure shit out STAT, trying to make sense of time is ironically enough a time-sensitive thing.

NATE: Plus we've got like, fifty bad guys in various sessions whose asses are unkicked and shit unfucked. We have so many irons in the fires right now, its fucking STUPID.
DIRK: You're going to have to be way more specific.
DIRK: They all started out as part of the alpha timeline before they branched off into doomed obscurity.

DAMARA: GO WHERE SAFE. DOESN'T MATTER. EVERYONE ALWAYS GET WERE GOING.
DAMARA: EYES NOT WHITE. YOU LIVE?

DIRK: Yeah, we're just trying to find a ghost.
DIRK: Is that what made you come over?

DAMARA: YES. YOU LIVE. VERY GOOD. WE SUCCEED FATE.
DIRK: Yeah about that, can you tell me what happened?
DIRK: I've got a pretty good idea, just lacking details.

DAMARA: LORD ENGLISH GONE. THEY KNOCK HIM OVER. KEEP HIM DOWN. WHITE THING ATE HIM.
DIRK: Did you see who made the white stuff?

Immediately Damara's mouth twists into a smirk and she snickers.

DAMARA: YES. RUFIOH MAKE WHITE STUFF. YOU MAKE WHITE STUFF.
DIRK: Alright, I see the innuendo there.
DIRK: It's called
The Pocket, and we need to know who made it.
DAMARA: SORRY. NO SEE WHO MAKE WHITE STUFF. IN BACK. PROTECT FRIEND. NO HELP.
DIRK: Alright, thanks anyways.
DAMARA: STAY ORANGE.

Damara
waves over her shoulder as she walks off and rejoins the jade blooded troll girl whose been patiently waiting for her.

DIRK: Let's go see if the others have had any luck.
LIL HAL JUNIOR: Yes.

Lil Hal Junior
scampers off towards where Dirk Egbert has struck up a conversation with another ghost, and Dirk Strider trails behind him.
Nate grimaces. Oh my god, the innuendos are painful. Okay, that was a lie, he's laughing really hard at the white stuff joke. Holy fucking hell.

NATE: Well, that was fairly useless, unless the information we were after was whether troll baby batter is white or blood-colored.

NATE: In which case, pack it up, guys, the oracle has spoken. Divine knowledge of troll reproductive fluids has been bestowed upon us.

NATE: Or maybe... maybe the answer was inside of us all along?

NATE: Anyways, I think we should- wait, why the fuck is Catgirl von Yiffwhiskers coming over here?


((Should I be Nepeta or is anyone else wanting to do that? I didn't plan on her being along for the long haul btw, wouldn't make much narrative sense))

Nepeta: D --> The Big STRONG B100 blooded troll saunters over to the very much alive humans! Hello! She...er...he says! Purrhaps you have seen my meowrail? Um. I mean, it should behoof you to tell me where my moirail is. I command it!


In the distance, the AuthorBot nopes right the fuck away. Just. No more dead cattrolls. Just. Fuck that noise. Why are there so many dead cat trolls? And why are they always roleplaying as OTHER trolls. Or, why do OTHER trolls try to roleplay as HER? There are fucking ENOUGH cat trolls in the afterlife already, guys.
Nepetaquest will always be a thing. It has never stopped being a thing that is true, and will not start stopping being a thing that is true. Nate honestly felt a bit sorry for this troll. It's like the Waste of Space figured, "eh, I can't do anything narratively significant with her to fuel my bullshit power spirograph, so let's let Honk Friend kill her and Sweaty Horse."

Nate checks the ectoBiology and portalRedirect logs for any oliveblooded trolls created and sent back. Hmm. Well, that's her name. Nepeta Leijon. Checking console logs is far easier than asking for names, he will always maintain that.

NATE: Um, can we kinda cool it on the "talking in third person" thing? It makes "Nate" want to facepalm "himself".

NATE: Sorry if that came off as rude. I'm just kinda in a rush to find a dead version of John Egbert and Roxy Lalonde from the new Alpha timeline. I would totally help you find blue horse guy, but I'm really in a rush, and there are too many of each person to definitively find the "right" sweaty brony.

NATE: Unless I used my Seer abilities to locate him...

NATE: Should I do that?
((I don't really have anyone in mind for my Dirk to interact with, so anyone is fine. For Cali however.... I'm not sure as well.

As Alex was fiddling through the dream ghosts, she noticed a few of them looked like her.

((OK maybe I'm interested in having Alex talk with another Sollux :)
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