Full Version: Dirk's null session support group
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30 minutes pass

MB:RS I cou1d fucking ki$$ 7ou
MB:And 7e$ m7 $e$$ion i$ null
MB:7ou know what
MB:This thing i$ actua117 kinda cute when it'$ not tr7ing to ki11 7ou
MB:I fe11 1ike I $hou1d give it a name
RS: You know, I think that might actually be a quest thing. The bug, I mean. Did you hear the Knell sound a second time, and see a giant floating island?

RS: There's this bullshit questline about some "Nightmare Heir" challenging you for ownership of your land. If rhinoceros beetles are a common land familiar but normally tinier, the giant beetle is what's known as the Heirfare. Takes you up to the Earthsea Borealis to engage in a battle with a mirror image version of yourself where you have to, like, accept parts of yourself you don't like before you can even kill him.

RS: It's so stupid. As soon as one of the Nightmare Heir's insults gets to you, they're unkillable. Just look it up in GodsGiftToGrinds' GlitchFAQ.

RS: Anyways, I think it's time to catapult ourselves into the madness of deep fuck-nothingspace now. Everyone who's going to go, ready to go?
MB:RS 1i$ten, ever7one i$ dead
MB:One of m7 friend$ didn't even get to enter the fucking medium
MB:I wa$ redirected here |37 $ome guy ca11ing himself "The Conductor"
MB:He $a7$ that he run$ the "Train of Time"
MB:And he to1d me m7 $e$$ion wa$ nu11 and that thi$ p1ace wa$ m7 |3e$t |3et of an7 kind of help
MB:And 7ou have a1read7 $aved m7 life

a few minutes pass
MB:Doe$ an7one know what the Train Of Time even i$?
DIRK: Hal, no fucking way am I using my Prince of Heart powers again any time soon.
DIRK: I'm still worn out from doing it the first time, and we have to leave soon.
DIRK: I don't think I can fly when I'm that fucking exhausted.

JAKE: Speaking of which you'd better get going! You can count on us to hold down the fort so don't you worry!
DIRK: Will do.
DIRK: Thanks, Jake.

Dirk hugs Jake and Jane goodbye, then turns to join the group of people who are getting ready to leave. While he makes his way towards them, he opens the memo.

TT: Congrats on surviving the adoption of your new pet.
TT: As of now I've only got one piece of advice.
TT: Peveta, ride.
TT: Ride that beetle proudly into battle like a nobel steed.
TT: I don't know why my self destructive tendencies aren't affecting you, Blue.
TT: I don't even want to find out if they'll effect Junior.
TT: That reminds me actually.

Lil Hal Junior looks at AuthorBotJunior curiously before looking up at AuthorBot. He seems to consider her question before replying.


Dirk floats over and picks up Lil Hal Junior off the ground. Lil Hal Junior looks startled by the sudden contact and movement before quickly gaining his bearings. Dirk moves Lil Hal Junior to settle on his back, and he attaches himself by wrapping his arms around Dirk's shoulders. It is, without a doubt, the single coolest piggy back ride ever attempted.

LIL HAL JUNIOR: Interesting.
DIRK: Yup.
DIRK: This is most definitely a thing that is happening.
DIRK: Anyone else without godtier flying abilities better quick hitch a ride with someone who does.
DIRK: It's time to go.
MB:I have two que&tion$
MB:1, doe$ an7one have a name for thi$ gu7
MB:2, how doe$ one mount a giant rhinocero$ beet1e
NATE: Yep. Everyone who wants to come with has a half-hour window to follow before you should stay put and not try to catch up at all. It'll be too dangerous by that point- space and time will have tied themselves in knots again.

NATE: It doesn't really matter what direction we go in, we'll end up at the same destination. So I say we go... that way. Stay as a group.

NATE: See you guys later, don't listen to the Horrorterrors, alright?

Nate points in a direction. Any direction will do, really. Let's say he points straight upwards for the sake of convenience. Yeah, that works.

>NATE: Engage in activities that give a flagrant "fuck you" to gravity in the most elegant way possible.

Nate is fuckin MOVING. He has thrown himself at the ground and missed in the most spectacular fashion possible, moving in the opposite direction from the sweet embrace of grass and soil. Later, bitches.
The AuthorBot and AuthorBotJunior float effortlessly off the ground and follow the group. It'd be a shitty kind of RareSessionFinder to not be able to fly. Way too inefficient.

AuthorBot: Hell yes it sucks, Lil Hal Junior.
AuthorBotJunior: Yes. Interesting!!!
AuthorBot: "A̛̟̦̘̹͉͊͆̑̋͟͟͡B̡͙̟ͤ̈̿ͦͫ͝͡ͅJ̴̡, y͐̋́o̵̵̴̡̖̯̾̇ͮ͌̌͊ù͈̩̬̀̇ͤ̕͘̕͠͝͡ b̦͎̬ͥ̈́͐͢͏̷ͬe̯͏͐͜t͔̣͈̬ͧ̍̈́͡t̩̮è̟r̡̡̻͚͕ͤ̂͜͞͠ c̸̸̵̛̣̆̕o͚̥̐o̪ͧ̓̈́͟l̵̨̮̪̀ i̴̡̧̐ͤt̹̫̥̅͒ͧ͛ͯ̓ oͤͧ͒͜҉ņ̵͔̿̈ͤ͘͜͠͠ t̸̛̝̆͋̃̊̚͢͜h̴̺̱ͪ̄ͫͩ͂e̡̜̠͑͐̉̄̀͡ s̴̟̱̞̤̣o̘̺̻ͯ̓̀̓́ͫ͢͞cį̸̹̼̮̯ͣ̓̆ͪ͛ͭ̚o̧̖̔̇͊̀p̷̫̃̿ͦͨͥͫ̄̚a̴͕ͥ̄̈́͟͡t̶̴͕ͪͭ̃ͥ͘ͅh̞͞͠ s̗̘̫̱ͫ͐h̵̵͇̥̼̤̳ͣͅí̝̙͔̗̫ͯ̈͂͘͢͞͏ţ̵̭̈́ͬ͛͜".
AuthorBotJunior: Hrmmm...

In the Memo:
JR: Hrrrm...@MB, pretty sure any way you can get onto its back works, but the challenge is gonna be STAYING there. Beetles are pretty smooth and hard to cling to. Is it small enough to grip it with your knees? Maybe alchemize a saddle? 10 boonbucks says that if you're meant to ride it, then something you got recently can be combined with some bullshit other thing to make a saddle that exactly fits it.

JR: As much as I hate NOT being a know-it-all, never heard of a train of time. But, like, if one of SBURB's bullshit ways to railroad you into a course of action tells you to do something, you probably should.
RS: JR is right. If you don't listen to SBURB's railroading, you tend to die pretty fuckin quick. Even if- no, ESPECIALLY if the railroading is so blatantly obvious it uses an actual goddamn railroad.

RS: You listen to that shit. You meditate on it like it's the motherfucking Ultimate Riddle.

RS: Like, one time I tried climbing to the top of one of my obsidian pillars, and then I got this awful feeling, which can only be described as "If you do this you will die to death, killing you instantly". Turns out they used similar code to the dream prototyping towers, which- surprise! Kill you if you get too close.

RS: JR, stay on the lookout for cracks in reality forming near us. Some parts of Paradox Space are fine, others look like they got webbed by kawaii Spiderman.

Dirk lifts off, and Lil Hal Junior tightens his grip. The take off is awkward as Dirk's balance is thrown off by Junior's added weight, but he adjusts for it and they're flying smoothly before they're even out of the bubble.

TT: We should be able to avoid these cracks well enough on our own.
TT: The giant neon flashing cracks in spacetime are pretty hard to miss.
TT: We'll be fine so long as no one goes blind in however much subjective time it takes us to get wherever it is that we're going.
TT: Actually, how long is this going to take, and where exactly are we going?
Gama finally snaps out of the daze and follows Dirk, leaving the others. Bio sipped some coffee as he was hard at work determining an exact location of John Egbert, and a few other dead players from his session. Hal went over to Jane and Jake to see what they were chatting about, and Cyris just sat there helpless.
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