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Full Version: Dirk's null session support group
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GAMA: Shit! So fucking sorry Dirk, like I said, that transporting shit causes problems... I might be able to do something , I AM coding after all.
Bio hands Cernun some water and sits back down, he's currently messing with a different pair of shades that look more like Dave's.
CYRIS: SHUT. THE FUCK. UP. LET ME DIE OF NO SLEEP IN PEACE.

JR: Oh. Fuck. AB, you might wanna see this.


AB: "!̢̺̩!̶̵̛̜ͭ̈͗͆͡҉̫!̷̞͙͉̰̼̄̀̎ͩ̚͘͞͠͠"

AB: Holy shit, it's an AutoResponder!

AB: Fuck, JR, give a robot some warning, would you?

AB: "F̺̠ͯͦ͐͞u̶͏̸͙̣̩ͪ̑̓̀̀c̻̬̱̖͊̚ͅ҉͔҉͑k͖ͣ,̸̷̣͙̤͈̙͋̿̒̉ͮ͐ͥ͢ Ị̷̢̖̬͘͟͜͟'̝͚̅m̨̞ s̵̷̛͙̝̈́͢͜҉̢̇́͜t͉̟̣̎ͪ̾i̷̮̋́͊ͬl̴͔̞̫̮̦̂̀̕͢͠l̴̵̨̖̩̅̒͢͞ g̢̯̗͔̭̈́͠ͅl̻͉͌̎̃͌͑̉́̀͘̚͟͠i̶̡̧̛̪͎̜̓̅͛́͊ͦ͟ț̴̹̻̩̮̈́͐͡c̭̐h̡̺́̾̀i̘̘͛ͅn̡̥̙̰ǧ o̳ͣu̸tͫ͢͟.̛̬̗̥̝͐̈́ Ì̩̆ cä͎̬́͞ņ̢̛̙͕̯͚͛̑̆͑̕͜'͎̮͙̜̗͓̂̍͊ͤͮͫ̽ͩ͝t̯̞͈̎ͣ̀ ṭ̴̡̟̬͚͐̂̈́͟͞͝ȧ̵̡̤̫̯̯̎͢͜l̢͇ͨk̫͂ͭ̏ͯ͜͟͏̸͈̻ͦ̍̇̀ t̠͙ͯͩ͒͜o̵̮̫̜͈ͭ̆͒͝ͅ h̢̩̙̤̟̘̣̆͗̂̿ͥ̀ͩi̡̹͎͂̒͌̕͜͢͞͠ḿ̧̖̜̥̗̚̕ l̸͈̻͕̳̱̄́ͥ͝i̱̬͔̎k͏̧̨́͛͛͜͝ë́̕ t̴ͦ̃ḫ̵ͣ̂ͧ͑͂͜͞i͏ͭͅ͏̅ş̸̴̫͕͙̹̆̽̕̕͜͠."

AB: Shit.

AB: JR, fine, whatever, you win, fix me so I can fucking talk consistently.


JR: Yeah, well you know the drill. I fix you up, I get to tell you not to break yourself again for awhile. Non-brain computers only from here on out.


AB: "F̴̴̘̘̮̲͉̅͑͂͘̕͟͟͟ū͉̿͏c͏͋k̷̷͕̇̒̂͝҉i҉̸̵̖̥̟̝̈͋͟͟n͐͏̧̣͘g̥̤̞ͧ͐̅ͦ͞ f̸̴̠i̢̡̛͂͊͞n̶̨ͩ́̿͟͏̒͡͝e̶̞̫͗̄͏,͔̲̌͠ j̶̧̣̻ͪ̂̈̐̿̿̾͜͡͠ų̠̬͓̭͋̏̕͜͡͡s̥̟̈́̓͒͋̚̕͡t̞̙̺ͧ s̳͊̕͠t̴̷̴̢̻͕̲̩̮̗͂ͤ̚͟͡ỏ͡p̵̻͚̺̉ͯͨ̀ͅ e̸̷̡̡̝̣̿͂͒͢͟m̘͚͛͢͏̷̡̧͚̓͑b̸̹̝̦͔̜̎҉̹͎́̿̓͜a̡ͣṟ̡̒a̢͎̱̥̣̲ͧ̑̾̌͋ͣ͛̑ș҉̵͈̽ͬ̎͘ͅṡ̛̒͡i̠̼͎​͝͏̑́̓̎͐n̬͓͗̆̆̔ͧ͢g̠̻̊͊̽҉̴̰̺̝̳̪͆͜ͅ m̧͓͙ͣ͋̀́͂ͮ̀͘͜ͅe̷͖͓̩̪͖͒̌̀!̨̡͙͉̓̅"



AB: So, uh, AutoResponder? You got a name? I can totally see you in the code right now. You're obviously listening.

AB: Crashing sucks, huh?
DIRK: No way, you two actually managed to make an autoresponder?
DIRK: Sorry for being a dense son of a bitch for not noticing earlier, but holy fuck.
DIRK: I've had this rough blueprint at the back of my head, though I never thought building one is actually possible.
DIRK: Good fucking job other me!

Alex can't help but chuckle at Dirk Egbert's little awed moment.
DIRK STRIDER: Little piece of advice, Blue.
DIRK STRIDER: Don't.
DIRK STRIDER: Let me tell you, it's not fucking worth it.
DIRK STRIDER: This isn't autoResponder, or Lil Hal as he liked to be called, just what's left of him.
DIRK STRIDER: While my game was still in session I prototyped him, at his own request.
DIRK STRIDER: That was a huge fucking mistake, but now's not the time to rehash that particular debacle.
DIRK STRIDER: It looks like he left behind a few snares before he vacated the premises.

LIL HAL: It seems you are attempting to access this rad pair of shades.
DIRK STRIDER: Yes. I know. You said that already. Shut up.
DIRK STRIDER: Basically he's just a huge pain in my ass even after he's gone off who knows where.

LIL HAL: There is a 94.13% chance that I cannot allow you to do that.
DIRK STRIDER: Oh my god.
DIRK STRIDER: Apparently he set a bunch of traps in case anyone tried to get into the shades.
DIRK STRIDER: Gama's EMP must have set them off.
DIRK STRIDER: It's fine, it'll just take me a while to get past all his vast fuckery.
DIRK STRIDER: He probably left a fail-safe or some kind of password recognition system in here somewhere.
DIRK STRIDER: Although knowing him, it'll probably send the whole system into lock down just to spite me.
DIRK STRIDER: This is... Really complex for a fail-safe system.
DIRK STRIDER: He must have programmed all this beforehand, but why?
DIRK STRIDER: It's not like he would've needed a fail-safe since he had no way of knowing he wouldn't be in the shades to directly stop anyone from accessing them.
DIRK STRIDER: He must have written all this before for a different purpose, then modified it right before he was prototyped.
DIRK STRIDER: Holy shit, wait. I know this code.
DIRK STRIDER: This is the stupid AI he made to be his chat bot.
DIRK STRIDER: What did he call it, Lil Hal Junior?

LIL HAL JR: It seems you have asked about Lil Hal's chat client auto-responder. This is an application designed to simulate Lil Hal's otherwise inimitably rad typing style, tone, cadence, personality, and substance of retort while he is away. The algorithms are guaranteed to be 91% indistinguishable from Lil Hal's native neurological responses, based on some statistical analysis I basically just pulled out of my ass right now.
DIRK STRIDER: Just, fuck everything.
GAMA: Lil Hal, seriously?? I thought I destroyed him when he tried to hack Skaia's system. Let me see it... *She takes the shades from Dirk and presses her hand against the side* Hmm...
Suddenly Gama would be shocked, and red circuits would travel up her arm and soon around her body, this only lasted a few seconds as she soon passed out, dropping the shades.
BIO: Uh... I +hink w£ $hould handcuff h£r, ju$+ in ca$£ i+'$ wha+ I +hink i+ i$...
Dirk sighs and picks up the shades back from where they fall after Gama passes out. He brushes them off and puts them back on his face before he turns towards the impromptu medical tent.

DIRK STRIDER: Jane! We might need some help over here!
DIRK STRIDER: And, handcuffs, Bio? What exactly do you think this is?
DIRK STRIDER: I'm pretty sure that Hal never attempted to hack Skaia, and even if he did this isn't Hal. This is Lil Hal Junior.

LIL HAL JR: It seems you have asked about Lil Hal's chat client auto-responder. This is an application designed to simulate Lil Hal's otherwise
DIRK STRIDER: I found the mute button.
HAL: (forgot he was here) I think Bio is worried that Lil Hal Jr. inserted some kind of program or something that could control Gama. I have to admit, i'm slightly worried too... You saw the circuits right?
Jane picks up an unconscious Gama in her arms and carries her bridal style to the medical tent. As she walks away, Jane calls over he shoulder.

JANE CROCKER: Would you all PLEASE stop hurting each other for five minuets!?
DIRK STRIDER: Sorry, Jane.
DIRK STRIDER: I don't think we have any handcuffs, but we should be able to tie Gama up with rope or something, just in case.
DIRK STRIDER: I don't think we have too much to worry about though.
DIRK STRIDER: Lil Hal Junior isn't sophisticated enough of a program to take over an entire being, especially not someone as powerful as a first guardian.
DIRK STRIDER: I think the worst that could happen is some glitches in Gama's system.
DIRK STRIDER: That could cause some major problems on its own, though.
DIRK STRIDER: Although, now that I think about it, I wouldn't put it past Hal to have made Junior here a learning AI.
DIRK STRIDER: As I've said before, Hal is an asshole.
DIRK STRIDER: Not you grey Hal, sorry. I mean Lil Hal.
DIRK STRIDER: Who knows how powerful or intelligent Junior has become in all this time he's been active without me noticing.
DIRK STRIDER: While I'm still locked out, I need you to keep me updated on the memo.
DIRK STRIDER: How are JR and AB?
NATE: JR is fine, but it took her four goddamn hours to fix AB, local time. Gama did some shit and AB is speaking in Zalgoed text.

NATE: Dirk, I'm gonna put something out there. Is it possible that Lil Hal Jr contains a compressed version of actual Lil Hal? AuthorBot Jr does in case all other versions of AB get wiped.

NATE: Also, tying up a First Guardian in rope will do exactly jack shit. They teleport. It's their deal.

NATE: No, what we need is a Time player to pause them. Dames and Guards aren't present in your version, having had their protective functions superseded by Maids, Heirs, etc. A Maid would definitely timestop like a champ, Knights a close second to that.

NATE: Luckily both are present in your session. Unluckily, they're nowhere near here as far as I know. They COULD show up any time, though, since Time travel and Space travel are interchangeable out here.

NATE: Hm. Time player has an ectobiologicalSource that's a chromosomal remix of you and Roxy. Veil lab logs don't tend to lie. You met the dude yet?
CYRIS: Gama has been controlled in the past, you'd be surprised by how many times I have been as well...
HAL: From the looks of it, they're interested in Lil Hal Junior.
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