Full Version: Dirk's null session support group
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Nate chuckles and smirks at Dirk.

NATE: Dirk, there are bubbles filled with dead people- TEENAGERS, at that. The number of corpse orgies in Paradox Space is probably staggering, vastly ranging in quality and quantity.

NATE: Horrorterrors basically have unlimited shitty porn. If banging ghosts were breadsticks, the Furthest Ring is probably Olive Garden.

NATE: The title of largest orgy is safe, regardless of the sheer amount of "fucked" there is in here.
There's a sudden glitch on everyone's computer. And there he was, Cyris, in all his glory.
CYRIS: I take it you're all players from my game... Well, if you have questions, get on with it. I can't stay long because of Skaia...

JR: @RS, gonna be honest, I don't even remember all the shit I did. I was obsessed. I didn't sleep for a week once I got into the source. I did a LOT of stupid shit. And yes, I sent you a copy of the game. And then spent the next six hours flipping my shit because I didn't know WHICH copy of the game I sent you. But you were already gone.

JR: For all I knew, in my shitty sleep deprived state I sent you one of the ones that crashed like five minutes in.

JR: Thus my first lesson in "restraint".

JR: ...also, I'm kinda gonna assume you've all met up in person and thus the relative silence in the Memos.

JR: Well, personal drama aside: Hey Cyrus, looks like it's just you and me (and maybe Orange Dirk who apparently multitasks like a boss???)? Sounds like you're code? And also related to viruses (oh god, why can't Skaia stop referencing shitty movies from the 90's/inserting it's own bad memes into movies from the 90's).
CYRIS: Yes, I am living code. I was created by Skaia to eliminate any hacker or modder in the system. I was also created to eliminate any players with too high of a kill count. Every death causes a glitch.

JR: :/ So... Awkward.

AB: It seems that your shitty class pissed Skaia off enough that it wasn't enough to remove it, but was necessary to salt the earth afterwards.

AB: Gotta feel bad for the Seers and Mages and shit that got caught in the crossfire. All "forbidden fruit" and whatnot. Skaia makes them curious, then "eliminates" any that actually try to learn.

AB: Huh. Cyris, would you be an anti-grimdark measure as well, then? Since they tend to try to break the game. Their crashes fucking HURT. Assholes.
CYRIS: I am indeed. And Skaia does operate oddly... I'm not even filled in half the time. But I do know that everything they do happens for a reason. Someone got killed? Skaia wanted that. Your parents were sent off and turned to nothing but slaves? Skaia. They operate oddly.
RS: Well, Cyris, congratulations. You are officially less effective at your job than a chain link privacy fence. Here's your medal.

RS: In case you haven't noticed, we have LITERAL FUCKING OVERDEITIES ruining everything everywhere. We got a Lord destroying dreambubbles, probably a Muse too, and Wastes editing code left and right.

RS: If that doesn't count as "too powerful" to you, then I shudder at the thought of what does.

RS: If you're an antivirus, you're Norton, flagging Chrome as a virus while letting some kid download free_minecraft_and_infinite_diamonds.jar.exe with no hiccups. 0/5 hats.

RS: Plus, literally all SBURB updates are probably mods to some degree. There isn't exactly an official dev team.

RS: And if there is, send them an email saying "fuck you" for me.

RS: Point is, you kinda suck at your job. AB, please estimate for me the degree of suckitude Cyris possesses in regard to his/her/its job.

AB: There is a 99.91942311669105% chance that I can't do that for you, RS.

AB: You will notice that JR has not attempted any hacking activities for this session cluster, and I have similarly restrained myself to observation mode only.

AB: If we fail to activate Cyris' defense mechanisms, we similarly fail to observe the effectiveness therein.

AB: For all we know, given our limited observations, the Waste of Space has fallen prey to Cyris' machinations already, despite succeeding at initial hacking attempts.

JR: Yeah, and like I said, I don't fuck with sessions until nobody cares about collateral damage anymore.

JR: So. Um. Cyris. You DIDN'T "eliminate" the other Waste. Did you?
CYRIS: I'm not the only living code admin running about. And second, Skaia told us to let everything play out, then fix what's left. The point is Nate, that my "Job" isn't the one you think. I unfortunately am not allowed to kill any carapace or Lord running around fucking everything up. And i'll gladly tell them what you wanted to say to them. But if anyone you love or care about dies after I leave, it isn't my fault. Skaia is letting everything get fucked into oblivion, I don't know why but they're allowing it. I can't do anything to that situation due to my coding... Sorry. And to answer your question JS, no, I didn't kill the other Waste, yet.
RS: Cyril, I'm thinking you aren't allowed to kill English or Jack because you're only so powerful. You're limited to First-Guardian level abilities if I had to guess by the green text.

RS: First Guardians are, after all, basically timeline-debugging NPCs, ensuring the session in the alpha timeline achieves its end goal. Probably to fulfill a time loop.

RS: Can you disable the read-protection on your code? I'm thinking you MIGHT be just raw Guardian code and no "base" organism to host it.

RS: Guardian code usually finds its way into an excellent host, so I'm not sure why you didn't get one.
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