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RS: ...well I'm a fucking moron.

RS: I thought you wanted me to actually enter your session.

RS: I was planning a whole deal where JR and I would type furiously on one keyboard, hack into your session's transportalizer system via the pillars, say "I'M IN", then do an acrobatic fucking pirouette onto the platform and bust through the wall of your house like a couple of regular Kool-Aid men.

RS: Bubbles work too though. I can literally go anywhere in them because... well... there's so much void to see!

RS: Child's play really.
nG:name is sally
nG:im the thief of rage
nG:and i am alive
nG:does that help your spreedsheet

JR: So, Jade Harley, Witch of Space, prototyped a dog first guardian. And Jack ???, Prince of Blood, prototyped a ??? First Guardian. So far no classpects in common, which would seem to be the EASIEST way to hax0r-curse a set of sessions, just say "All Witches Prototype bullshit" or something. That'd be like, one line of code.

JR: First name doesn't seem to be in common either, and unless that Prince of Blood's last name was "Harley", last name is a no go, either.

JR: It's entirely fucking possible that you guys are just naturally fucked, and the hacking has nothing to do with how much FirstGuardian bullshit you're having to deal with. Bluh. Hell, maybe the hacking is future bullshit trying to save your sessions? I ain't touching it.

JR: Oh, and RS, I've totally told you: you can't trust the logs. There's PLENTY of times the logs are all "everybody lived and shared cake and hug bumps" and then you get to a session and everybody is long dead. Remember, SBURB for some dumb-fuck reason doesn't always print out the logs for the Alpha session, so sometimes you're seeing offshoots. And it seems like some of these guys are offshoots to begin with. Better to hear it from the horses mouth, as it were. (You would not BELIEVE how much SBURB's source code references horses, btw. I don't even.)

JR: BTW, I'm definitely noticing the "you all seem to be remixes" of each other,thing, which is weird all by itself. SBURB tends to repeat itself, sure, but not in sessions right "next" to each other or whatever. Maybe whoever fucked with your sessions was TRYING to get 'em all tangled up like this?

GH: Yea, Jack almost blew himself up wearing just ONE.
GH: Or that's what Malis is telling me.
GH: Anyway the man is right, no more than one ring.
GH: It creates a mix in power that causes their abilities to go hyper and cause them to blow up into tiny pieces.
GH: Learned that the hard way. (R.I.P Mr. Bone)
RS: JR, remember what I told you about the alternate universe thing? Quantum Dead Kid Computing?

RS: Sburb takes all the paths, including scrambling the values for ectobiologicalSource across realities.

RS: It literally doesn't care about choosing the right value to make the alpha timeline. It's so wasteful, it just forks it until it has all of the possibilities.

RS: Is the password 0000? No, 0001? No, 0002?

RS: And it keeps forking reality and fucking reality over and over because one of these is bound to be right.

RS: And sometimes ectobiologicalSource doesn't even get reset on the reinit.Scratch function so you always get a fork from the Scratch where everything is the exact same.

RS: This is why we get so many swapped kids and shit.

RS: Remember the bug where after we tried yellowYarding our own session?

RS: THAT'S why all of our Denizens spawned dead. Those versions of us forgot to reset denizenHP.

RS: And I agree, the logs lie like Fox News.
((omg im dying))
GH: Wow that Fox News joke was on par.
GH: And I realized I haven't introduced myself.
GH: My name is Hal and I think I can support your claim RS.
GH: In my old session before I joined Cernun's and Vic's, I tried to spawn myself a new Denizen and ended up with another dead one and a player killing virus.
GH: The virus killed the players it effected by causing the clock to have no effect and be unable to revive them and would die of a random disease. Any Life player trying to revive a diseased player would be infected as well.
GH: Malis and I barely made it out...
RS: @GH, you done did fucked up. Obviously. But allow me to give you the lowdown on how that caused an issue.

RS: Whenever you beat a Denizen, some bullshit "plague" is supposed to spread across the land, and it's another stupid quest.

RS: When you spawned another Denizen, it was dead on arrival because the code for the Denizen's stats is part of the SESSION, not the object.

RS: Well. Sorta. There are two HP tracking values, one on obj.Denizen and one on the session itself, but each tick it sets the obj.Denizen to match the session value.

RS: Which is a stupid way to code things (each TICK? Memory nightmare) but what's new.

RS: It spawned with full health, next tick matched the session value (0), and died to death, killing it instantly.

RS: You triggered the consort plague twice this way, and the code got super glitchy because it called on that object from an array, then deleted it for some reason.

RS: How high do you have to be to even DO that? Who removes items from an array while using the array?

RS: I mean, if you know it can only trigger once that's okay, and in all other sessions it DOES only trigger once because Denizens are on a strict one-life limit, but you kinda screwed the pooch so hard PETA and the cops are both ready to break your door into toothpicks.

RS: The game concluded that since there was no data that it logically should delete the player's stats and leave an empty set, including godtier status, so technically your friends don't have "0" hp, they had "" hp, and their godtier status wasn't "True" or "False", but- surprise surprise, it was "".

RS: And any interaction with them using game powers would just trigger the plague's spread, since that's the default spread activity for a plague. Funny they have a backup for that aspect of the plague but no fallback for other things.

RS: Sure, of course you're gonna have to give it a debug option for if the data was empty to make sure it spreads, but FUCK giving it a default EFFECT, because that would just be silly!!!!

RS: In short, Sburb was probably made by Bethesda or something.
DIRK STRIDER: Hold up, god damn it.
DIRK STRIDER: Clearly these people don't understand the meaning of chilling out.
DIRK STRIDER: You know what, fuck it. I can do both.
DIRK STRIDER: If I can literally sleep with my eyes open, then this is nothing.
DIRK STRIDER: I am the master of multitasking. It is me.

TT: Don't worry RS, you can still do the most acrobatic of pirouettes into this burning field, which would be arguably the more kickass entrance.
TT: And if it's not, well, there's always an alternate timeline in which you do bust through that wall like you've made it your life goal to put the cool in Kool-Aid man.
TT: Thanks, Sally. Your info has been added to the spreadsheet, which is quickly becoming the only sane part of all this.
TT: JR, are you suggesting that someone might have purposefully coded our session to screw us over?
TT: Why though? What could this mystery hacker possibly stand to gain from screwing us over?
CT: Wow, I'm gone for two days, and there are four pages to this thing.
CT: I think I'll try to keep a more watchful eye on this memo
CT: update, I have gotten my computer to work more effectively, and now I can calculate my way out of this mess quicker.
CT: so I saw this thing where you were talking about how you may all be alt versions of each other, or at least in some part,
CT: it seems very possible,
CT: also, I saw something about a spreadsheet, could you elaborate?
CT: mostly how can i help with the spreadsheet?
((i freaking went to sleep and this blows up like wow anyway /tries to be funny))
TG: oh wow
TG: i look away for a second
TG: and the memo blows up
CC: IV--E JUST B--E--EN R--EDING TH--E CHAOS
TG: okay so
TG: my drik
TG: *dirk
TG: is a harley
TG: and he prototyped his parrot
TG: which is ua5s gaurdian
TG: *guardian
TG: so if jack is a harley
TG: we all blame the harleys

CC: W--E TROLLS OF UB5 DIDNT PROTOTYP--E A GUARDIAN
CC: W--E COULDNT HAV--E CAUS--E TH--E FUCK--ER IS ON TH--E MOON
CC: OR SOM--ETHING
CC: LIK--E I SAID B--EFOR--E
CC: UB5 WAS SCR--EW--ED OV--ER B--EFOR--E W--E B--EGAN
CC: I DONT KNOW MUCH ABOUT HACKING AND SHIT
CC: BUT MAYB--E SGRUB ITS--ELF IS TH--E MYST--ERY 'HACKER'

TG: i know sburb is mean
TG: but i doubt it actively wants its players to lose
TG: i hope

CC: ITS SGRUB AND ITS TH--E ONLY TO B--EN--EFIT IF W--E LOS--E IT S--E--EMS
CC: IT CAN PICK AND CHOOS--E TH--E H--EALTHI--EST BABY UNIV--ERS--E
CC: THINK OF IT AS CULLING OUT TH--E W--EAK--ER GRUBS

TG: its sburb
CC: ITS SGRUB
TG: sburb
CC: SGRUB
TG: bs
TG: anyway kk are you joining the clusterfuck party?
TG: just go towards the light like a moth
TG: or something

CC: IF THATS AN INVIT--E
CC: SUR--E
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