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RS: Better plan.

RS: Coax the right ones near each other and hope they start making out instead of killing us or something.

RS: ...honestly I'm just spitballing here. I don't wanna have to fight ninety different gods.

RS: Bluh.

RS: Although Jack DOES have an affinity for Prospitians. Especially the Parcel Mistress (badass mail lady, became Ringwraith in your alpha session's case) and the Monarchist Provider (White Queen's favored house servant, painter).

RS: Can we get PM and JN to do sappy romantic shit and, I dunno, get married?

RS: Use the rings that way?

RS: Again, I'm desperately searching for any idea that takes them out of the game at no risk to us.

RS: And this English guy is no joke. He's literally everywhere on the timeline, and has manifested to some degree in every universe ever.

RS: The code for his stats is all garbled and his clock state variable is Null, so I'm not sure he even CAN die??

RS: And he's killed the Others, or "Horrorterrors", which I thought was entirely impossible. They aren't even strictly a part of SBURB, and they glitch out anything they touch.

RS: I'm terrified and you damn well better be too.
UT: I apologize if I ended up triggering you.
UT: But understand that I have trouble reading them personally, and that's what i was just complaining about.
UT: Especially with all those e's.
UT: However, if what I said offended you and your species, just know that I didn't intend that. Again, I apologize.
TG: good!
TG: sorry about my friend, he could be a jerk ^_^
UT: Anyways, can we move on now?
TG: wait! what about their plan? :U
UT: You mean having our enemies kill each other?
UT: I must say, I agree with pink @TG. Karkat's plan would cause imminent destruction to these session spanning dreambubbles.
UT: Let me remind you, we're dead.
TG: oh
TG: yeah karkat what a stupid plan
CC: WHAT TH--E FUCK
CC: WHIL--E IM D--E--EPLY OFF--EN--ED
CC: I ACC--EPT YOUR APOLOGY
CC: I DONT MIND J--ERKS
CC: MOST OF MY T--EAM AR--E J--ERKS
CC: JUST DONT BLAM--E M--E FOR JAD--ES BAD ID--EAS

TG: and how is romance the better option
CC: I DIDNT SUGG--EST HAVING TH--EM MAK--EOUT
CC: OH MY GLUB

TG: orange!dirk
TG: now i want to try and see if ua5s jack would say that
TG: but sadly i dont have a cracker
TG: or know what words he auto responds to
TG: funnily enough thatd be au5s dirk whod know
TG: he grew up with the first guardian
ALEX: Yes, laugh at my death and add some movie references in there too, can we move on now?
ALEX: About grimdarkness, personally I think it is up to the person whether or not they'll fall under those horrorterror's inflences again.
ALEX: With D Egbert, I doubt he'd be as dumb enough to do so again.
DIRK: I don't really think so at all as well.
DIRK: That would've been too edgy.


Dirk promptly shuts up and returns to pesterchm.

ALEX: Do you even know what what edgy means?
ALEX: Ugh, forget it! I will just summarize what I've heard about what happened with him exactly.
ALEX: Basically, it was only a temporary thing. He had been interacting with a "doctor" whom promptly lead him to those dark gods lurking around the scattered pieces of Derse.
ALEX: Then... There is a thing about... Someone dying.

She glanced at him to see if Egbert heard, thankfully he didn't.

ALEX: Yeah, so we all know he went grimdark and I don't know what happened next since information from ghosts varies.
ALEX: Overall, his grim phase did not had any darker effects on the alpha timeline, so I'll move on now.
ALEX: The one who became an actual problem however is our Harley, Jack.
ALEX: And boy oh boy, having a First Guardian coplayer who also happens to be a Prince really took a toll on the already screwed state of or session.


Meanwhile on pesterchum.

UT: Exactly.
TG: don't get us wrong ur plan is great!
TG: we.. just don't wanna die again, u kno yolo ^u^
TG: or... yodo? :U
UT: I'd like to suggest instead to find their individual weaknesses.
UT: If this causal reality theory is actually true then all of our session's bad guys has the same properties, thus the same weakness.
UT: Maybe we could kill them, or at least banish them, with that? That's just a suggestion though.
---User tenaciousCollector has joined the memo---

TC: Ugh
TC: I can't remember my quirk, and my head hurts like hell.
TC: Anyway I heard there was sad things here.
TC: also Hal is here with some dude with shades.
((is this ok?))
((Very much! Welcome @Vantas! :D

TG: hi there @tc! ^u^
TG: u ok? u also need help? :?
TG: btw i'm cali and here online is my pal dirk!
TG: @ut being dirk egbert i mean, there are many dirks here OuO

JR: I think me and the AuthorBot are stuck in a strictly support role right now. It's one thing to fuck with SBURB enough to get a solid Pesterchum convo going, but I don't want to risk perma-death or some shit trying to actually BE in a session that doesn't support my class. Maybe I'll send AB sometime, she always likes fucking around in new sessions. And you know, can't perma-die as long as she has backups.

JR: And to answer "red TGs" question, yeah, cheating/hacking/modding SBURB is stupidly dangerous. 0/5 hats, do not recommend. There's a fucking reason I've never messed with OUR session's code much. But sometimes sessions are ALREADY fucked and literally can't get any worse, so we mess with THEIR code. You know, to try to help them. Mostly.

JR: You'll be happy to know that you PROBABLY aren't that fucked yet? Which is good, 'cause I've never done shit to your version of SBURB. But RS is right...I'm pretty sure someone else has, and that's hella weird.

JR: Honestly, plan "Makeouts" probably has the least risk of fatalities if it succeeds...but probably the MOST risk of fatalities otherwise 'cause holy shit guys, do you really want to get close enough to the Rampaging Crowned Carapacian of the day to give them relationship counseling?

JR: An obvious weakness of RingWraiths is that if you can get the ring off, they are just regular Carapacians again? So, anything you can do to chop off an arm or finger is a solid strategy. I saw a fucking incredible session once where their Crowned Carapacian started Rampaging before everyone was in the medium, and they managed to prototype one of the kernel sprites pre-entry with an armless doll. Suddenly the game glitched out and none of the Crowns had arms, so couldn't wear the ring. Made the rings completely useless. It was fucking beautiful.
UT: Yes but, here's the thing.
UT: Our homocidal carapacians are all prototype with stuff we're dumb enough to let near the kernel sprites.
UT: We're not too proud of that.
UT: If that is the case then, does anybody even know about weaknesses for First Guardian characters? As those types of enemies are truly the ones fucking our shit over.
TG: i think dirk is basically asking how to deal with hackers?
TG: is that even possible? :?
RS: I remember that one. The Reckoning started immediately because WK dropped his scepter from like fifty feet up.

RS: Unfortunately, the ring is fully prototyped, and messing with the towers that hold the prototype information is out of the question, for three reasons:

RS: One, they're the ONE piece of code that's unbreakable in this game.

RS: Two, physically messing with them will kill you to death instantly. It's not fucking pretty.

RS: Three, the ring is equally ironclad and can't be edited without all the checksums matching up. Unless you're data from a prototyped kernelsprite entering the medium that's from that specific session, you don't have that permission.

RS: And he's from a session that's been Scratched anyways so tower hacking is out of the question.

RS: I'm not sure what the worst result here could be if we mess with the code, because I'm essentially a script kiddie compared to JR, so I'm gonna defer to them.

RS: Although I'm pretty sure editing the code before entry has been done before. That's probably how this mess of a game updates. People think they're getting one over on SBURB by editing the code but it turns out it was always supposed to be updated.

RS: It's fucking hilarious, JR and I agree on that. Player-driven updates for a game that kills its players. Doesn't help YOU much but? It's funny in a weird way???

RS: I think if we can get someone to chop off Jack and Jaz's arms we can get them out of the way entirely.

RS: Bluh. That's only, what, two of them though?


RS: First Guardians are basically Debug NPCs that make sure the session goes right. You can't kill them without a ton of firepower.

RS: Although they DO retain attitudes shared by their genetic base, so a dog one acts like a dog and has loyalty to its owner.

RS: First Guardian-prototyped royalty tend to feel the attitudes of First Guardian prototyping a strongly, probably so they can keep doing what the Guardian would have.

RS: Utilize whatever loyalties or instincts the Guardian would have. Short of that, thermonuclear weapons can take a decent chunk out of their Vitality Gel bar.

JR: Well, I mean, First Guardians are obviously powered by the Green Sun, but that's less a weakness and more a piece of trivia. If you're strong enough to destroy a sun the size of multiple universes, you probably coulda taken on a First Guardian anyways. Plus, SBURB loves bullshit paradoxes where trying to destroy the Green Sun tends to cause it to be created in the first place. Because the Ultimate Riddle never stops being a thing that is bullshit.


JR: And I'm honestly not fucking sure if there is just ONE Green Sun (that shows up in different places/times) or, like, multiple. So maybe you'll destroy one First Guardian's source, but not anothers???

JR: And I'm not sure HOW anybody hacked your session. Or IF??? Like, your code is not normal, that is a thing that is true. But I can only speculate on WHY it's not normal? Maybe another Waste got into it. Maybe your First Guardians or other non-standard baddies (Empress Crocker or something? Batterwitch?) got into it? (Did anybody prototype a Hacker or something equally dumb along WITH your first Guardian/Parrot/Cat shenanigans???) Maybe you're running a cracked version of SBURB that was always hackily modded?

JR: Either way, I wouldn't try to undo the hacking 'till I know exactly what it's doing ...or if your session is already fucked up beyond repair. I can't emphasize strongly enough how shitty of an idea it is to try to hack a session with non-doomed players in it. (And no, just being dead isn't enough to be "doomed". The afterlife is a pretty sweet retirement package that isn't worth the risk of fucking over).

JR: Actually...one thing that would help me figure out where to look in the code would be to know exactly how things fucked up. What is the full name and classpect of every player who prototyped a First Guardian?


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